Moonstruck
by Aiwendil Amaurea
Summary: Sesshoumaru, driven by his pride and arrogance, kidnaps Kagome for his own purposes. In the moonlight, the line between friend and foe blurs, and confusion reigns. Trapped in a deadly countdown, two lost souls wait for the darkness to wane. {Completed}
1. Ruthless

**Chapter 1: Ruthless**

The forest floor was dark, the faint silver glinting like knives off of the softly rustling leaves. The same silver cast shone over a silently contemplating figure. His iridescent hair and alabaster clothing adapted to the greying hues around him; he could have been a silver sculpture, shining in immovable nobility and superiority over all that surrounded him. 

The moon was only a sliver in the sky, the month would soon come to a close. The time had come to carry out his purpose. In all of his glory, he lacked only one thing now. The only unsettled affront to his dignity, the only lasting wound to his ego. 

Now he had found a way to remove even that stain. One such as himself should never have to endure being... imperfect. And perhaps at the same time, he could gain a measure of satisfaction-- a taste of suffering returned to those who brought this indignity and inconvenience upon him. 

* * *

Inuyasha felt his half-brother's approach before he saw him. 

The day had been unusually quiet, a sense of foreboding growing in him all day. The others seem to have caught the mood as well, the usual cheerful banter given way to wary silence. Even Shippou was quiet as he rode in Kagome's bicycle basket. 

Inuyasha's unease grew as Sesshoumaru's scent grew steadily closer, unhurried and calm. There could be little doubt that Sesshoumaru was purposely coming to him, but Inuyasha could not imagine what his purpose might be. His half-brother had not seemed that interested in him lately, not since the forging of Toukijin. His companions quickly picked up on his unease. 

"Inuyasha? What's wrong?" Kagome had noticed him stop and carefully sniff the air. 

He looked at her, his gruff voice expressing little of the concern he felt. "My stupid brother is nearby. He's coming here." 

"Why? What does he want?" Miroku asked. 

"How the hell should I know?" Inuyasha's voice rose angrily. "Probably just wants to make my life as miserable as possible." His hand was on Tetsusaiga's hilt, poised to draw at the slightest provocation. 

As if blinking into existence, Sesshoumaru's calm form materialized on the trail in front of them, as if he had been waiting there all day for them to arrive. His gold eyes took in the hanyou and his companions with a sort of detached indifference as Jaken scurried out of the forest behind him. The small girl Sesshoumaru kept was not with them, Kagome noticed. 

Instinctively, Inuyasha positioned himself protectively in front of Kagome. "What the hell are you doing here, Sesshoumaru?" he growled. 

Sesshoumaru regarded him for a moment, as if he had ignored the question. 'It will be difficult to accomplish this without damaging it,' he thought. 'He is especially protective.'

"You have something I want," Sesshoumaru finally responded. "After I have it, I will go on my way." 

"Something you want?" Inuyasha mumbled in confusion. "You're still after Tetsusaiga?" 

Sesshoumaru glared at his brother's stupidity. "I no longer desire that battered excuse for a sword." His eyes traveled away from his brother to the woman sheltered behind him. "I am here for something else." 

Kagome almost shuddered when his cold eyes met hers. She had forgotten what it was like to be under the demon-lord's stare. She involuntarily took a step backwards. 

Inuyasha realized Sesshoumaru was looking behind him as if he didn't even exist. Kagome's hands reached out and tangled themselves in his clothes, trembling slightly. "Kagome..." he whispered. 

His blade flashed out, transforming. He didn't know why Sesshoumaru was suddenly so intent on Kagome, but he was worried. "You want Kagome." It was half a question, half a threatening growl. 

Sesshoumaru smiled coldly. "That was unusually quick of you. If she comes with me now, I will not be forced to harm anyone." 

"What do you want with her?" Inuyasha reached behind him, holding Kagome's wrist possessively. 

Sesshoumaru glared at him in a way that clearly showed he was not going to offer an answer. 

Kagome squirmed behind Inuyasha in worry, afraid of the way Sesshoumaru kept glancing at her. She didn't know what she could have done to attract the demon's lord attention, but he was here now, demanding her. 

"Miroku, Sango, take Kagome and get away from here," Inuyasha hissed. 

In an instant Sesshoumaru's sword was drawn. "She stays here," he commanded. "Or I will be forced to hunt her." His voice took a feral tint at the word 'hunt' that made Kagome's blood run cold. Miroku and Sango stood indecisive, knowing that Sesshoumaru would be able to catch them. 

"Um...Sesshoumaru-sama?" Kagome began uncertainly. "Could you maybe tell me exactly what it is you want from me?" 

He blinked once, surprised to hear her speak. He regarded her calmly. "You will find out soon enough. However, it would be best for all of you if you came freely with me now." 

Kagome cast a nervous glance at her companions, obviously trying to decide what the odds would be like should a battle take place. She took a hesitant step forward. She couldn't let the others get hurt. 

Inuyasha growled angrily and snagged Kagome around the wrist. 

"You're not going to touch her. You'll have to kill me first." Inuyasha's fury was building. He was not going to let Sesshoumaru have Kagome. His blood boiled at the thought of his Kagome at the mercy of someone like him. He pushed Kagome towards Sango and Miroku, keeping himself between his brother and her at all times. 

"As you wish," Sesshoumaru said softly. He had no compunctions over killing Inuyasha to get what he wanted. He charged. 

Inuyasha barely saw him move, bringing Tetsusaiga up slightly too late to completely block Toukijin's downward slash. The blow glanced down his sword arm, scraping it to bits. Inuyasha winced and sprang away, swinging his sword with both hands as blood began to soak his right arm. He grimaced in determination. He could not let Sesshoumaru have Kagome. 

"Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed when he was struck. She tried to fight her way forward, but was held back firmly by Sango and Miroku. As the combatants broke apart, Sesshoumaru gave the struggling girl a brief glance. Her emotions were written all over her. Even now, the strange little thing was more worried for the hanyou than herself. Foolish of her, but as long as the others kept her away from the battle, he wouldn't have to worry about accidently injuring her. She was no good to him dead. 

He saw his brother prepare his attack, his movements obvious. The hanyou always over-reached when he used the kaze-no-kizu. He had no finesse. By the time the arches of energy reached him, he had already abandoned his position, racing behind his brother while he was still off balance. He slashed again, movements too quick for the human eye. 

To his surprise, Inuyasha whirled and managed to bring his sword around in time to stop the blow, lashing out with his claws as he repelled Sesshoumaru. 

Three sharp points tore into the side of Sesshoumaru's neck, ripping downward as Inuyasha let out an enraged cry. Sesshoumaru felt a few lines of blood trickle down his collar, slightly startled that Inuyasha had managed to strike him. Inuyasha was always a lot faster if he was worried about the miko. He had also avoided Sesshoumaru's attempt to bait him further from the girl. 

Inuyasha was panting now, most of his right sleeve soaked in blood. No more playing. Sesshoumaru flashed forward, no more than a silver-white blur. He swung again, this time releasing Toukijin at his brother with a smirk. The blade flew at the hanyou, imbedding itself in his left shoulder an instant before Sesshoumaru's poison claws sank into his gut. 

The weight of the other demon threw Inuyasha heavily to the ground. He skid for a moment, leaving a streak of red on the dirt path. Before the hanyou could rise, Sesshoumaru was on him, one foot holding down his sword arm while his only hand twisted the blade in his shoulder. Tetsusaiga's transformation faded.

Inuyasha screamed in pain. Sesshoumaru yanked Toukijin from his shoulder, laying the point across his neck. Inuyasha glared at him, his breaths jerky and panicked as Sesshoumaru looked down at him dispassionately. He could tell Sesshoumaru was not in a merciful mood. If he died, there would be no one left who could stand up to him and Kagome would be lost. 

Sesshoumaru smiled slightly. "Remember Inuyasha. You chose this fight, chose to die today. You should have given me what I wanted in the first place." 

"No!" shouted a slightly shrill feminine voice. Without moving his sword, Sesshoumaru let his eyes track over to the miko. Her friends had a hold on both her arms as the girl twisted and kicked against them. Tears were streaming down her face as she tried to reach the hanyou. 

Inuyasha stirred under him. "Kagome! Get out of here, now!" His voice quivered with anger and fear. 

Kagome shook her head violently. "I won't! Sesshoumaru, please don't kill him! I'm begging you. I'll do whatever you want, just stop!" 

"Don't you fucking dare, Kagome!" He thrashed and attempted in vain to throw Sesshoumaru off of him, suddenly uncaring about Toukijin at his throat. "Sesshoumaru, your fight is with me, leave her alone!" 

"You have already lost our fight," Sesshoumaru said smoothly. "And you are very much mistaken if you think she is not involved." He quirked his head at Kagome, who had ceased her struggles and was hanging still in Miroku and Sango's grasp. "Let her go." 

Kagome tore herself away from the other two and looked despairingly at Inuyasha. She met his gold eyes, sad but resigned. She had already made up her mind. "Don't even think about it Kagome, you idiot," Inuyasha hissed at her. "I'm not letting you do this." 

Kagome turned back to Sesshoumaru. "Whatever you want," she whispered, tears running freely, though her voice was steady. "As long as he lives." Everyone was still, waiting for Sesshoumaru's response. 

Sesshoumaru regarded her stoically. "Walk to Jaken." 

Kagome did as she was told, her eyes on the ground as tried not to hear Inuyasha yelling and begging her not to comply. Miroku and Sango moved to stop her, but were stopped by a glare from the youkai lord. 

"Miroku and Sango, go get her, you morons!" Inuyasha shouted at them, woozy from the pain as Sesshoumaru continued to press on his injured arm. 

Kagome hesitated for a moment in her slow walk. 

"Take a step towards her and will kill you," Sesshoumaru promised. 

Kagome glanced back quickly. "Please don't," she mouthed. Her face was pale with fear, her voice refusing to rise. It seemed to take forever, but she finally reached Sesshoumaru's henchman. 

"Kneel," Sesshoumaru commanded as he continued to hold Inuyasha down. 

Trying to keep herself from shaking, she slowly lowered herself to her knees. She choked back her tears. 'I'm not going to cry anymore,' she told herself. 'I'm not going to let him know how scared I am.' She stared resolutely at the ground, biting her lip. A couple of drops disobediently spilled over her eyes, running cooly down her nose. 

"Jaken," she heard Sesshoumaru order the toad-like creature. She tensed as her bow and quiver were ripped off her back. She did not fight as cold clammy fingers grabbed her wrists and pulled her arms roughly behind her. Cords wrapped around her wrists, binding them together behind her. A throaty whimper escaped her mouth as the rope constricted painfully tight as the toad deftly tightened the knot. She immediately felt weaker, the rope must carry some sort of spell. 

"Serves you right for defying Sesshoumaru-sama," Jaken snapped at her, prodding the girl in the side with his staff. 

Inuyasha yelled at her one more time, his voice echoing distantly in her ears. "Kagome, no!" And quieter, "Kagome, I'm sorry." 

"I'm sorry," she whispered in return just before a gag was forced between her lips. Jaken yanked her head back sharply by the gag, and Kagome fought the reflex to retch. He made no attempt to spare her hair as he tied it around her head. The ropes made her feel miserable. 'Why is all this necessary?' she wondered. 'I gave my word, and its not like I could escape anyway.' She watched Inuyasha from the corner of her eye, her expression apologetic and pleading. 

Sesshoumaru noted his servant's overly-rough behavior, but did not take his attention away from Inuyasha. "Your woman is much smarter than you, half-breed. You should listen to her more often." His voice was teasingly soft. 

"You bastard!" Inuyasha coughed. "What the hell do you want a human for? Are you doing all of this to get to me?" 

"Don't think so highly of yourself," Sesshoumaru scoffed. "Why waste my time on something like you?" 

"Why her?" he hissed.

Sesshoumaru scowled. "You don't need to know." He glanced down at Inuyasha's pinned hand, white knuckles clutching Tetsusaiga. "Grab your sword by the blade." 

Inuyasha gave him a confused look. "What?" 

Sesshoumaru ground his foot against Inuyasha's wounded arm. "Do it, or I will make the girl suffer in your stead." 

Scowling, Inuyasha slid his sword in his hand until he was holding it lightly by the base of the blade. In an eye blink, Sesshoumaru's hand wrapped over Inuyasha's on the katana. He whipped the sword up, squeezing Inuyasha's hand as he manipulated the blade. He shoved downward, the rusty blade thrusting into the hanyou's chest and traveling through into the ground. 

Kagome screamed into her gag. 

Inuyasha's eyes widened in pain and shock. Sesshoumaru released his hand as Inuyasha's pinned body convulsed and a few drops of dark blood spewed from his mouth. Sesshoumaru bent and retrieved Toukijin, replacing it at his hip while ignoring Inuyasha's throes. He returned his eyes to his captive human, her glistening eyes full of fear and hatred. She couldn't move, but her whole body was shaking as she attempted to. Her shadowy hair rippled over her shoulders as she trembled. She felt used, betrayed... and guilty. Let her. 

Kagome fought with her horror as Sesshoumaru neatly impaled Inuyasha on Tetsusaiga. She bit down on her gag and tried to struggle, but the bonds on her wrist inexplicably kept her entire body still and kneeling. 'No! I did not surrender so that Inuyasha could die!' She tried again to stand, or crawl, any movement at all, but she was held fast. When Sesshoumaru turned back to her, she sent him a look of pure venom. 'How dare you.'

His eyes narrowed, seemingly in response to her unvoiced accusation. He stalked over to her, but she found she could not even lift her head to look him in the eye. She felt his one arm slither around her ribs, hauling her up. He glared once at Kagome's companions. "Don't follow." 

Without another word, he pulled Kagome tightly against him and was gone. The last thing Kagome saw was Inuyasha's form, his hair spilled around him with his own bloody hand wrapped around his sword in his chest. 

* * *

* * *

Um... I promise I'm going somewhere with this. Why do the first chapters of my stories always suck?

Please Review!

  


_This chapter last modified: Saturday, August 23, 2003_


	2. Prey

I'm sort of surprised that there's any interest in this story. Oh well, whatever the peoples want.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Prey**

Kagome found herself trapped against the demon lord as he skimmed over the treetops, following the falling afternoon sun. The light warmed her back uncomfortably as they sped west. Sesshoumaru held her, still bound, leaning into him with his arm locked firmly around her waist. She shuddered against him, more angry than she could ever remember being before. She still couldn't move, couldn't speak, and every second it went on her rage grew. She was frightened of what was in store for her, but as long as she could stay angry she could avoid thinking about it. 

He thought she would settle down after he removed her from the bloody scene, but an hour later he could sense her anger had only grown. The gag had been one of Jaken's rare good ideas. No doubt she would be yelling herself into exhaustion by now. She was trying to fight the binding spell-- and to his surprise was beginning to achieve some success. If he let her go on, she might be able to break it. That would be inconvenient. 

"He's not dead," he said casually, "so you can stop this nonsense." 

She stilled instantly, her breath and heartbeat slowing to a more normal rate. She remained tense, but the anger was beginning to ebb, making room for fear.

"The untransformed blade can hardly cut through his coat," he continued nonchalantly. "It was necessary to stall him, but he will likely be completely healed before the new moon." 

At this the girl shook noticeably, a tremor of fear running through her. What about his words had frightened her? Surely she could not have any idea what was in store for her on the night of the new moon?

"He lives, my end of the bargain is fulfilled." She still wasn't calming down. "As for yourself... if you cooperate, you will live also." 

She had so many questions, but had to settle for biting down on her gag. She was more than a little afraid now. Her head rested against his shoulder, she was helpless even to lift it. She had to content herself with gazing past his arm at the landscape as it passed. Night was fast approaching, and still they traveled. His claws were pressed against her stomach, not harming her, but a constant reminder that he could. She realized they must have been traveling for hours, the whites of Sesshoumaru's clothes began to absorb the orange taint of the setting sun, the breeze growing colder. She shivered as she became aware of how cold her bare skin actually was. Sesshoumaru glanced down at his captive, pulling her into him a little further. Kagome only stiffened in response, having little freedom to do anything else. 

It was fully dark when Sesshoumaru finally descended. They had been traveling toward the mountains all day, and it was much colder here. Kagome was finding her short skirt more and more inappropriate. The night was dank and dark, the insects buzzing heavily in the trees. 

From her position against Sesshoumaru's shoulder, she could see little until he stepped through a heavy, if nondescript, wooden door in the hill side. The slice of dark forest slimmed as the door closed quietly behind them, latching with an ominous click. She blinked to adjust to the darker space, the only light filtering in through a small barred window in the ceiling. 

It came as a bit of a surprise when she felt her feet touch the ground, finally settling after their long flight. She felt Sesshoumaru's arm leave her and found she could not move from the position he had placed her in. She caught the faintest glimpse of his motions, silver flickers in the dim light. 

It was impossible to see much. The thin splinter of moon was not enough to provide any illumination through the tiny window. She stood there, silent as the moment stretched. Sesshoumaru was just standing in front of her, unmoving. Her eyes hesitantly traveled upward, catching the glint of cold steel from the swords at his hip, up his armor to where his face should be. 

His eyes stood out brightly, shining with the moon's white light. They reflected far more than a human's would, and were centered eerily on her. Her heart started pounding. Her body recognized the threat so many had fallen victim to since the dawning of her species. There is nothing more frightening than being lost and alone in the dark, only to look up and see the glint of a predator on the hunt. She froze a moment, waiting for claws and teeth to tear through her, anticipating in terror what it would feel like to be torn apart and consumed.

She cringed when she heard a hiss in the dark, squinting her eyes closed. When nothing happened, she opened her eyes hesitantly. She could see now, a small lamp having been lit in a recess in the wall. She glanced about the room nervously.

The walls were smooth stone, the floor bare dirt. From her vantage, she could see only two walls and the door. If the stone and bars weren't evidence enough of the place's purpose, the chains attached to the wall were a clear indication. Her eyes widened in fear. 

Startled, she realized Sesshoumaru was slowly circling her, as if appraising her. She felt an unwitting tear fall from the corner of her eye as he walked behind her line of sight, the slightest rustle of silk the only indication of his prowl. 

"I forgot humans cannot see well in the dark." She was startled when she heard him speak from behind her. "Is this better?"

She couldn't answer him, and he knew that well enough. She would have thought he was taunting her, but his voice was so even she couldn't tell. 

Soon he was in front of her again, standing much closer than she liked. He looked her in the eyes, and she did everything she could to muster a glare in return. Her brown eyes shone molten in the dim lamplight. His eyes narrowed as he continued his examination as Kagome simultaneously seethed at the indignity and shuddered with fear. The scent of it filled the room heavily. 

"Do you see the chains on the wall?" he asked softly. 

Her eyes flickered in affirmation. 

"They were meant to hold much stronger beings. I will not use them on you unless you are unmanageable. Understood?" 

She wished she'd stop asking her questions since they both knew she couldn't speak. He didn't seem to care.

"While in my custody, you will do as I tell you. There are ways to punish you without damaging your usefulness to me." 

He stepped closer to her, leaning forward as his arm snaked around her. Her breath quickened in alarm. She felt his claws brush down her arm. With a quick flick of his wrist, Kagome's binds untwined and slithered to the ground. 

Kagome stumbled as she regained control of her body, barely managing to keep her feet. She brought her arms defensively in front of her chest, massaging her wrists. Angry welts had formed and her fingers tingled as proper circulation returned. She reached up to remove the gag, but her hands were pushed down by Sesshoumaru. 

"I would like for you to only listen for now. First, do not entertain any notion of an expedient rescue by your friends. Not even Inuyasha will be able to find you here unless I wish him to." 

Kagome looked dejectedly at the floor.

"Second, I will not tolerate any insubordination or petty rebellion. If you attempt to harm yourself in any way, you will regret it. That means no starving yourself or any other such stupid idea. Nod if you understand." 

Kagome nodded slowly. 

"If you can control your tongue, I will allow you to speak." 

Kagome paused, then nodded slowly again. 

Sesshoumaru's claw slid along her face catching the piece of cloth and ripping it cleanly away. 

Kagome timidly swallowed a few times, re-moistening her mouth. "Why did you bring me here?" 

Sesshoumaru regarded her silently for a moment. "You will find out soon." 

She fought the urge to growl in frustration. "Then why did you have to do that to Inuyasha after I already agreed?" 

"My stupid half brother is over-zealous. If I had not pinned him down, he would no doubt have insisted on following, fighting even to his death. He seems to love you." 

He said it so casually, as if it were as obvious as the sky. Maybe if Sesshoumaru said it, it was really true. Or perhaps even he saw things that weren't there. If Sesshoumaru believed that, then had he kidnaped her to get to him? No-- he said Inuyasha would not be able to follow. If he wanted her as leverage against Inuyasha, he would not go to such great care to make sure Inuyasha would not be able to find her. 

"How long will you keep me here?" she asked timidly. 

"As long as is required." 

"Required for what?"

He glared at her silently. 

His silence fell heavily on her. "Will you hurt me?" 

His golden eyes bore into hers. "Yes." 

Kagome paled, her eyes widening in fear. She took a step backwards, her feet unsteady on the uneven floor. 

Sesshoumaru watched her frightened retreat with cold stoicism. "You have nowhere to run, Miko. It will be less painful if you cooperate." 

Kagome shook, trying to tell herself not to be frightened. It was harder when Sesshoumaru advanced towards her, hard eyes boring into her intently. 

"I wonder," he said, to himself more than her, "if you have the strength for this." 

Kagome's heals hit the back wall. She stumbled, never taking her frightened eyes away from his. She was trapped between the hard stone wall and him. He was quite right: she had nowhere to run. 

She flinched as his clawed hand slowly reached toward her neck. He could feel her pulse quicken, her dark eyes swimming in fear of what he might do to her. The scent of her alarm was undeniably alluring. Why not enjoy it?

Every muscle in her tensed when Sesshoumaru's claws touched her neck. It felt as if something exploded inside of her, pouring through her as her body cried out for her to protect herself. She screamed, her hands coming up reflexively to resist, to fight, to try and guard herself. Hot white light tore out of her, lacing down her finger tips and seeking the cause of its master's distress. 

Her eyes snapped open at the sound of a solid impact, finding Sesshoumaru now across the room from her, shaking off her attack. He did not look happy. 

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for that... I didn't even know I could... Please don't!" She shrank back. She hadn't meant for that to happen, it had been instinctual. She was aware, even as panicked as she was, that angering Sesshoumaru was a very bad idea. 

He walked slowly, half because he wanted her to get herself under control, half because the blow had hurt him more than he let on. He stood before her again, glaring as she cowered. "What did I say about fighting me?" 

"I didn't mean to," she said defensively. 

"Then you should learn to control yourself if you want me to let you live," he answered rationally. "Can you do that?" His voice was lofty, patronizing. 

"Stop playing with me, you jerk," Kagome hissed. Part of her wished he'd just get the punishment over with, the fear of it was driving her mad. 

Sesshoumaru raised his eyebrow. "So you do have some spine. Shall we try again?" He lifted his hand, resting it slowly on Kagome's shoulder. Teasingly, his claws skimmed over the surface of her skin until they rested on her throat. Kagome bit her lip, trying not to feel his touch. She poured all of her strength in locking away her power as it struggled like a wild animal for release. 

Sesshoumaru let his hand linger for a few agonizing moments, watching her closely. Finally, he drew his hand away. Kagome released a deep breath, trying to gather her scattered wits. 

"Better," Sesshoumaru murmured. He almost smiled at her look of confusion. "You're tired. You will sleep now." 

Kagome followed his eyes, turning slightly to see a bed made behind her. It was out of place in the room, as if it had been tossed in as an afterthought. Oddly, was raised from the ground like a Western bed. She hadn't seen anything like that in this time period. Why would Sesshoumaru have such a thing?

"I will see you again soon, Miko," Sesshoumaru said, his back already turned to her as he walked for the door. 

"Wait!" She called beseechingly after him. "Please, why am I here?" 

Sesshoumaru paused for a moment, his hand on the door. "I want a healer." 

Kagome blinked. "Sesshoumaru!" she called as the door began to close behind him, "I'm not a healer!" 

The door locked ominously behind him. 

* * *

Outside again, Sesshoumaru considered the girl locked in the room behind him. It had been a long time since he had used this place. He did not usually take prisoners, and if he did, they rarely lived long. This time, he had needed a place out of the way, someplace where the girl was not likely to be found by anyone. He was uncertain about the chances of success for this experiment, and he did not wish for others to discover his intentions. He would keep her here, away from prying eyes. 

He allowed his body to sag in rest for a moment. His chest stung, and it was difficult to breath. The places her fingers had touched him still burned. He was surprised when she used her power against him. He didn't realize she had so little control. What could she accomplish if she actually tried to harm him? 

He had made a mistake too: no matter the skill of the hunter, it is dangerous to underestimate a trapped animal. 

He smelled her blood and looked down to find a few tiny drops clinging to his claws. He curiously tasted it, feeling it sizzle warmly on his tongue. It was a strange sensation, though not entirely unsavory. She said she was not a healer, and he was certain that she believed that. She was untrained, he realized. She was completely oblivious to her own potential, as obvious as it was. Her previous incarnation had the same talent, the purity of heart that could heal the infirm of both heart and mind. No other soul he had encountered had the magnitude of power as the one which currently animated the girl. He could have used another; there were many healers, but none who possessed anywhere near her level of strength. She was his best chance for success. 

  
  


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Well, the first two chapters were kind of shaky, but I'm starting to get into this story a little more. The third chapter, I think, is much better. 

I was going to wait till Thursday, but you guys nagged me into posting. Good for you. Keep it coming. Your reviews are really encouraging, they always help me get through the tough spots in these stories.

Here's the update mailing list situation. If you didn't get an email for this chapter, you're not on the list. I'm not using the same list as MtaE because these are very different stories and not everyone would be interested, I think. So, if you want to be on this list, you'll have to leave your email. 

Please review!

-Aiwendil

  


_This chapter last updated: Sunday, August 31, 2003_


	3. First Blood

**Chapter 3: First Blood**

Kagome spent the night uneasily. The lamp Sesshoumaru had lit she left burning, afraid of being alone in this cold place. When she did finally sleep, she was plagued by nightmares. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Sesshoumaru glaring coldly down on her. When the first orange rays of the morning seeped through the one barred window, she was relieved. 

Jaken came soon after dawn, leaving her food. The little toad creature grumbled about his chore and offered a few choice threats to the mortal girl. 

She barely heard his blustering, trying to decide if she could make it past the creature. Jaken she thought she could handle, but once she got beyond the door, there was still the fact that she had no idea where she was and was completely unarmed. If she ran, Sesshoumaru would surely catch her and bring her back, and things would only be worse than they were now. He slipped out, leaving her locked in alone again. 

She stared at what Jaken had left her for a long moment. Some rice, and a dish she didn't care to identify. Probably the toad's idea of human food. She prodded at it, unable to decide wether to eat. On one hand, she had not eaten since breakfast yesterday. She could probably stomach whatever this was, even if it was something Jaken had cooked. Still, she was suspicious. What if there was something else in the food? Drugs, poisons... the possibilities frightened her. Even more so, considering she didn't know what Sesshoumaru had in store for her. In the end, she tentatively ate the rice, but no amount of rationalization could persuade her to touch anything else. 

The room was uncomfortably bare. Kagome inspected the heavy door and the stonework, as well as the barred window she couldn't quite reach. 

She sat on her bed with her arms wrapped around her knees. There was nothing to do but wait. Why did Sesshoumaru just leave her here? It was clear he wanted something from her, but she had no specific idea what. Her only clue was that he had said he wanted a healer. The thought tightened her stomach into a nervous knot. What would he do to her when he found out she couldn't do whatever he wanted? She was not a healer, she had never done more than wrap wounds and crush herbs. Perhaps Kikyou had that skill, but she did not. 

The silence was unsettling. It gave her too much time to worry. "I hope Inuyasha's alright," she said aloud to herself. Sesshoumaru said he would be healed by the new moon... did he know about Inuyasha's vulnerable night? She held a certain faith that Inuyasha would come for her. He always did, no matter the situation. She had no doubt he was tearing down mountains right now looking for her, wounded or not. But Sesshoumaru, she was sure, was not sloppy enough to give him any hints. Part of her was relieved; as long as Inuyasha couldn't find her, he wouldn't get hurt in another fight with his brother. The other part of her was very much afraid. 

The day passed slowly, the spot of light moving gradually across the room, warming the stones. Still, no one came. The long day passed, the orange glow of sunset fading gradually into a very, very dark night. It was pitch black in the room, the light from the few bright shining stars not managing to penetrate. Having nothing else to focus on, Kagome looked out at the square of stars above her. 'They're bright tonight. No moon.'

The thought was interrupted by a rush of cool night air. Subtle sounds in the dark made her hairs stand on end. The door had been opened and closed again. She stumbled to her feet, her legs pressed tightly back against the bed to reassure herself in the dark. "Sesshoumaru?" Her quivering voice rang off the bare walls. 

A moment later, and a spark lit amidst the darkness, catching onto the wick of the lamp once again. Warm orange light trickled across the stones, illuminating the path from captor to captive. 

Sesshoumaru watched the nervous girl fidget as he regarded her from across the room, as if trying to decide how she would be best handled. "Are you well tonight?" He asked quietly. 

It was not what she had been expecting. "I... I guess so," she fumbled. 

"I told you to eat what you were given." His voice never lost the even tone, even with the reprimand. 

"I... uh, don't think I can eat that. I'm not trying to... disobey you." 

He sniffed at the remains of her food and decided he didn't blame her. "I will have Jaken bring you something else tomorrow." 

"Thank you," she said, unable to think of anything else. 

If her words surprised Sesshoumaru, she couldn't tell. She pressed down her fear as he came towards her, stopping no more than a hand's span away. She jumped when he lightly grasped her around her wrist. "Lay down," he commanded softly. 

Her dark eyes widened, her heart pounding like a jackhammer. Surely Sesshoumaru wouldn't... he couldn't want that from her. 

"No!" She shouted in panic. She tried to pull her wrist away from him, struggling in vain against him while he didn't bother to extend any extra energy to restrain her. She whimpered as her struggles failed to free her. She felt her power pool inside her. She could release it, she could hurt him. She wasn't going to give into him, no matter what. Not without a fight.

He saw her still, an abrupt concentration crossing her face. Quickly, he moved his hand, wrapping around the back of her neck and pressing his claws in warning against her skin. He trapped her tightly against his body. "Don't do it," he warned. 

Kagome froze, knowing she had been caught. She bit down hard on her lip as she fought to keep her power locked within her.

Her skin was hot to the touch, charged with the energy that surged just beneath her skin. She tensed, every muscle straining silently against his grip. Her erratic breaths fell in short hot bursts on his shoulder, stirring up Sesshoumaru's dormant instincts like dying embers. 

"I will not do what you are afraid of," he told her. It reassured her only marginally, it only left a million other possibilities. She fought a two-fold battle, trying to fight Sesshoumaru while trying to keep herself under control. 

"This is the part where you hurt me, isn't it?" She quivered against him, close to tears. 

In response, he released his grip on her neck and guided her back to the bed. "Lay down," he said, almost gently. She looked up at him in helpless fear as she sat down. Insistently, he pressed her shoulder down against her bed. 

"Sesshoumaru, I don't know what you want from me, but I can't do it." She lay nervously as he remained bent over her. "I'm not a healer, I don't know how to do anything like that." 

Slowly, he knelt beside her. He uncrossed her arms protectively covering her stomach. "I know." He held her arm lightly, rubbing his thumb softly across the underside of her wrist. "Stay very still. Whatever happens, you must control your power. You would make it more painful." 

Her eyes were confused and frightened, but she nodded slightly. 

Before she could see what he was doing, his claw slashed horizontally across her wrist. She let out a slight scream as she registered the pain. She tried to jerk away, but Sesshoumaru wrapped his hand tightly over the cut. She fought the urge to purify, twisting in on herself. 

"Calm down," Sesshoumaru told her. "The worst is over." 

To both of their surprise, she did, slowly relaxing to lie flat again. Still, her young face clenched as she held back the tide. Her eyes closed, she did not see what Sesshoumaru was doing. His grip relaxed, turning her arm over to expose the cut. 

Something cool brushed against her arm, but she only had a second before he clamped down. His lips latched over the cut, and an immense wave of pain washed over her. 

'No! He said it wouldn't get worse!' But the pain was coming from within her, not from his action. Her most basic instincts definitely did not like that a powerful demon was consuming her. Its pull before was nothing compared to what it was now. She tried to wall it off, shove it down to wherever it had previously lay dormant. 

She gasped when the first drops of her blood touched his tongue. Her blood carried the echos of her struggles, part of it wanting to destroy him, the other desperately trying to prevent it. She writhed as she fought against herself. He remained still, trying to give her the opportunity to bring her body and her power under control. If her will to purify won, he was in real danger.

With an effort, she calmed herself. Her other hand caught onto his empty left sleeve and clung tightly to it. He could feel her cage off that part of herself. As the holy energy in the room receded, he was slightly relieved. Kagome's breaths evened out, her muscles easing. 

Sesshoumaru let her blood flow a little more freely, her warm blood trickling into his mouth. It was strange... the power was still there, but it was restrained. It tasted strangely sweet, perhaps more metallic than he had tasted before. It had unusual traces he couldn't quite identify. It was not quite human-- there was simply too much power.

"It was a better height, wasn't it?" 

Sesshoumaru glanced up at Kagome, her brown eyes looking soulfully down at him. Her breathing was labored with the strain she was placing on herself. 

"That's why you have this bed... so you can reach me when you do this."

His mouth not free to speak, he simply acknowledged her with his eyes. He was slightly impressed she had even thought about it. 

"What is it that you really want, Sesshoumaru?" She thought aloud. She turned her head to the wall, refusing to look at Sesshoumaru and what he was doing. 

A few slow minutes passed. Sesshoumaru gradually felt the change come over him. It started in his chest, like a ball of warmth. With sudden speed, it spread outward, like a calming wave to the furthest corners of his body. It was disorienting, unfamiliar, and yet strangely comforting. This, he assumed, was the cue he had been waiting for. He slowly withdrew, placing his hand over her cut to halt the bleeding. 

Kagome turned back to him, watching silently as he cleaned her wound. It was not very deep nor long, only as severe as the need dictated. 

"What is this for?" she asked quietly. 

He stared at her as his hand busily wrapped her wound. "A healer's blood has powerful... restorative properties."

"But I told you," she said tiredly. "I'm not a healer." 

"You are by blood, even if you are unskilled." 

She sighed. "What, Sesshoumaru, are you trying to restore?" 

He glared at her, then briefly down at the sleeve she was still clinging to. 

Kagome followed his eyes. Quickly she released the silk. "Oh," she whispered. "Right." 

"Did you so easily forget the scar your dear hanyou inflicted?" He frowned down on her. It was partially her own influence that had caused this. If she hadn't been there, the runt would never have mastered the blade. And she had the audacity to forget what had happened?

"Actually, I kind of did," she said slowly. "You are as strong as you were before, I didn't really notice when you fought. You aren't limited at all by its loss. At least, that's the way it seems to me." She spoke almost timidly, knowing how little control she had over the situation. Her melodic voice rang softly off the hard walls. 

"I am not limited." Sesshoumaru said bluntly. 

Deep dark eyes met his golden. "Then this is about revenge? Pride?" 

"Justice." 

Kagome shivered, knowing he believed his own words. Sesshoumaru's ego was a dangerous thing. "Is that why you chose tonight? To hurt us more?" She asked without thinking. 

Sesshoumaru paused, remembering her curious responses earlier. "What is it that frightens you about new moons?" 

Kagome froze, her heart suddenly jumping into overdrive. 'He doesn't know!' She realized. 'He's never found out about Inuyasha's night?' 

"It's... dark," she said lamely. "I suppose it wouldn't bother you, but humans are vulnerable... when their enemies can see better than they can." 

Her body gave her away. There was something she was hiding, but he could not imagine what. "Perhaps your species is wise to fear the dark," he said blankly. 

Kagome sighed as she relaxed again. Sesshoumaru had finished with her wrist, and was already standing to leave. She scrambled up after him. 

"Wait! You're going to do this again, aren't you?" She knitted her fingers together nervously as he looked impassively back at her. 

"I will be back tomorrow night," he said simply. 

"Tomorrow?" She repeated despondently. 

"And the night after."

Kagome balked. Did he realize how hard it was to control herself? How painful it could be?

"Every night, till the moon is dark again." 

Kagome slumped, looking sadly at the floor. A month of this torture. This loneliness. She bit her lip to keep from crying. "After that?" she asked meekly. 

He smiled a slight cold smile. "We shall see." 

She paled slightly. "Why are you doing this?" she whispered. 

"Because I risk nothing. I stand only to gain." 

He turned, leaving the girl alone again in the dark. 

"How can you be like this?" she spoke to the empty room.

* * *

After leaving the miko, Sesshoumaru slipped off into the woods. It was dark, but he could easily see as he moved through the trees like an apparition. He had never really thought about it specifically, that humans' senses could be so poor. How did they even survive with such weakness? Reaching his destination, he stopped and stood patiently.

"I wondered if you would show yourself tonight, Sesshoumaru." The low old voice hummed as if it came from everywhere. 

Sesshoumaru said nothing, staring straight ahead as a twisted face melted from the trunk of a very ancient tree. 

"That you are here means that you must have found a healer." The face in the bark looked over the youkai with eyes that deceptively always looked half asleep. "Yes... there is a slight change in your blood tonight. I had hoped that you would abandon this course."

Sesshoumaru released an indignant scoff. "It was foolish of you to hide this method from me in the first place. Surely you must have realized, that I, Sesshoumaru, would discover it anyway?" 

"I did not tell you of it for the same reason that your father did not give you a sword like Tetsusaiga," Bokusenou* replied. "Though I did know of the remedy you have discovered, I did not wish for you to use it. I would not have assisted you in interpreting the procedure, but for my fear that you cause more damage in your ignorance."

Sesshoumaru bristled slightly. "Do not presume to call me ignorant again." 

Bokusenou gave a slight chuckle. "Of course not, Inu-no-taisho." He had never called Sesshoumaru by that title before, but both of them understood the subtle rebuke: you are not your father. 

"And who is the healer you have found?" Bokusenou spoke with the immunity and casual lack of self-regard that only the ancient completely possess. "On whom have you decided to bestow the privilege of serving you?"

"A miko of some power," Sesshoumaru responded. 

"Your brother's miko, you mean."

Sesshoumaru glared. "How can you know this?" 

"Your ears are very good Sesshoumaru. But I have far more, even if you are not aware of them. The forest listens. It watches. I know whom you have taken." 

Sesshoumaru glanced into the forest. Just how much could Bokusenou know? How far did his influence stretch? He disregarded the thought; it was unimportant. 

"It is not your concern whom I have chosen." 

"Ah, but you must see how strange your choice is," Bokusenou continued in his unhurried rhythmic voice. "To choose your brother's woman when there are many healers in this world." 

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed irritably. "The woman has great power, even if she cannot control it. I have not encountered one of more healing potential. Her blood will be stronger than that of some other half-rate healer. 

"If that is not enough, this wound was inflicted by my half-brother. It is only fitting that he now pay the price for it. As for the girl, she has blame in this as well. The insult... the great Tetsusaiga, freed by the touch of filth like her. She has fought against me and helped that pathetic half-breed. She is my enemy. She deserves this pain."

Bokusenou sighed tiredly. "I feared this. You truly do not understand the path you are now walking." 

"Have you kept more from me?" Sesshoumaru asked suspiciously. 

"You misunderstand me. I have told you all that I know about this remedy, but you will soon discover things will not be as easy as you anticipate." 

"What do you mean?" 

"You have captured a pure creature, Sesshoumaru. The miko, as you yourself admit, is one of a very rare breed. It's abominable, to cage something of such innocence and beauty for your own vanity. She will suffer greatly, it may even kill her. How will you justify it when you consume that light?" 

"I did not come here for a lecture," Sesshoumaru sneered. 

"No, you came for reassurances," Bokusenou replied. "I will give you all that I can. From what I can sense in your body, your experiment is working. Does that comfort you?" Bokusenou's voice never lost its confidant, even tone. 

Sesshoumaru's jaw tightened at the other's attitude. "You'll be seeing me again soon," he said, trying to ignore the insult. 

"I'm certain of that." Bokusenou's face sank back into the wood. "Goodnight, Inu-no-taisho." 

Sesshoumaru stalked off into the very dark night. 

  
  


* * *

* * *

*Bokusenou: The tree Sesshoumaru consults concerning Inuyasha's demon blood. (Ep. 51, Manga Volume 19, Chapter 183) Author reserves right to use and abuse obscure secondary characters ; )

**Author's notes:**

I have a major love/hate relationship with this story. I planned it from the end backward, and getting where I want to go is a fairly rough road. Oh well. I'll keep writing as long as people keep reading it. For any who are interested, The Plan is about 10 chapters when all is said and done. 

Is there/what is the pairing in this story? -Good question. Sadly, I don't really have a good answer for you. This is definately a story oriented almost exclusively around Sesshoumaru and Kagome, but I hesitate to call it a romance. Their relationship in this story is a little bit different, complicated by the fact that I'm trying really hard to keep Sesshoumaru in character. 

What was Sesshoumaru doing when Kagome reacted last chapter?- He wasn't specifically trying to do any great harm to her, just feel her out. He got a little to close and Kagome felt threatened and lost control.

Please Review!

  


_This chapter last modified: Tuesday, September 9, 2003_


	4. Murals

**Chapter 4: Murals**

Kagome was surprised to find that her anxiety had mostly eased. Aside from a sore arm and a lingering headache, she felt none the worse for wear. The warm light form her window was comforting, and when the breeze was right it carried the scent of the flowers growing on the slope. She knew Sesshoumaru would come after dark, but she felt much better knowing what the danger was. 

It was too quiet for her tastes. Only faint woodland noises reached her ears. Kagome was not used to being so alone, she liked to talk, there was rarely a moment when she wasn't among friends. 

She was lonely. 

'A month,' she thought sadly. 'I wonder which will be worse? The days or the nights?' The room was empty. There was simply nothing for her to do, and it was already beginning to wear on her. 

She almost welcomed the night. She ached to see another face, even if it was Sesshoumaru's. Silently, she waited, glad for the faint moonlight tonight. Twenty-seven more days before the light went out once more. 'What will have changed,' she wondered, 'when the darkness finds me next?'

Her thoughts were interrupted, at last, by Sesshoumaru's quiet entrance. 

"Good evening!" She smiled fleetingly, a reflexive action she couldn't seem to shake. She realized how brightly she had accidentally spoken, and looked down sheepishly. She just got a little carried away with the company. 

Sesshoumaru gave her a strange look. 

He was watching her very closely. When her head had snapped up at his arrival, he had been prepared for anything but the sudden cheerfulness. She had moved her bed under the lone shaft of light. The moist air rolled in through the window, glowing fuzzily in the faint light. She looked like she was suspended in it. The silver beams illuminated her pale face and dark hair serenely, even as her eyes jumped with light. She was hardly more than a child. _'...to cage something of such innocence and beauty-'_

He pushed Bokusenou's lingering words back down in his mind. He had a purpose to accomplish here tonight. The girl was even now looking up at him expectantly. 

"Are you well tonight?" he asked perfunctorily.

She inclined her head slightly. "I suppose." 

He nodded and made his way over to her. 

"Wait," she called slightly. "Could you... light the lamp?" 

He looked at her curiously. "Can you still not see?" 

"I can see ok," she responded nervously, "but in the light, I'm less... afraid."

He silently lit the lamp on the wall, watching as the girl visibly relaxed. He knelt down next to her. Even sitting on the bed, they were of near height. Her fingers twitched nervously. She was afraid of him and what she knew was coming. 

His one hand loosely grasped her ankles where they hung from the bed, lifting them and laying them to rest on the bed. She let out a shaky breath as he pushed her shoulders down, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. It took a great amount of will-power to restrain herself as Sesshoumaru stretched her across the bed. He took her bandaged wrist and slowly unwrapped it as she held it still for him. 

"Are you ready?" he asked, ignoring sound of her blood rushing angrily through her veins. 

She was momentarily startled by his concern until she realized he was just trying to make sure she had her power under control. She braced herself. "Yes." 

She hissed when his sharp claw reopened the clean line. She tried to tell herself that she wasn't really in danger, hoping to assuage her instincts. It worked only marginally, as she again felt the surge in her energies the moment Sesshoumaru started sucking at her wrist. It was so much more difficult to hold it in than to simply let it do as it wanted. She hardly felt the pain on her wrist as beads of sweat started to form from her exertion. Her power seemed to consider her attempt at control a renewed threat, and fought all the harder. It screamed painfully in her mind. 

'I can do this,' she thought determinedly, 'This is part of me. I can control it.' She searched inside herself, finding the corner of her mind that was still calm. Desperately, she latched onto it, willing it to spread. The cacophony in her ears dimmed as her raging powers slowly yielded to her control. She gave an audible sigh of relief as she finally locked down her power. 

She looked at Sesshoumaru and found his eyes watching her face rather than her wrist. "I'm ok now, I think," she whispered, more to herself than to him. She cringed when his tongue stirred the cut, but did not allow her purifying energy to reemerge. "That hurts, you know." Realizing Sesshoumaru was something of a captive audience, she allowed herself to relieve some of her thoughts. "I'm not sure I can take this. It's only been two days, and already I'm struggling. Doesn't really matter, though, does it? You're the one who decides when we get to stop, and I know you intend to follow this through." He looked at her blandly. "I guess I'm just a weak human, after all." 

Sesshoumaru finished in silence, cleaning his lips of lingering traces of her blood as he replaced her bindings. 

"How is all of this supposed to work, Sesshoumaru?" The girls wide brown eyes watched him unflinchingly even as he met her with his full stare. "Is this part of some kind of spell?" 

A moment of silence passed as Sesshoumaru decided whether to speak. "More of a remedy." 

She drew a breath, half-surprised he had answered. "A remedy? How does my blood come in?" 

"As it is written," he said smoothly, "The blood of a true healer can restore wounds of the flesh. Consumed over a period of one cycle of the moon, it should transfer its healing power to whomever it is donated. When completed, my body should restore itself." 

"As it is written?" she asked curiously, sitting up and rubbing her arm. 

He nodded. "An old writing. Translated, it reads: '_From the darkness a true healer's essence, consumed through the growing light. When the luminance wanes, the wounds of the flesh, by that grace are healed. Renewal shall come on the darkest night._'"

Kagome listened thoughtfully to Sesshoumaru's low voice. "It doesn't sound like just a remedy." 

Sesshoumaru looked at her impatiently. "It is a translation from a very old language. I suspect the phrasing is the liberty of the translator."

Kagome rubbed her head tiredly. "Wait a moment... that was awfully vague. And you say that it has been liberally translated. How do you know you're doing this right?" 

"I have had assistance from one who is more familiar with these matters." He glared at her boldness. "You should be hopeful that I am correct in my interpretation, young miko." 

"And if you're not?" 

"Then we shall try again until we get it right." 

Kagome paled. 

Sesshoumaru stood to leave her and she felt a faint tug of loneliness. 

"Sesshoumaru... do you think that if this works, you might let me go?" She asked nervously. 

He searched her sad face, his expression unreadable. He could easily refuse to answer. After all, it wasn't her place to ask something like that of him. Still, perhaps she would be easier to handle if she thought she had some hope of freedom. "Perhaps," he answered casually. 

The look she gave him was so full of hope he had to turn and leave. 

* * *

Three nights in this place had passed for Kagome, two since Sesshoumaru had begun his experiment. Her fears had faded over the long hours, the same worries for her companions whirred dully in her mind. She was lonely, and very, very bored. 

If someone had offered her the chance for some solid rest time a week ago, she might have jumped at the offer. Now, she would give anything to join the hustle and bustle of the outside world. She found herself staring at the walls and trying to imagine what was on the other side. She had even caught herself talking aloud to the empty room a few times. Aside from Jaken's visit in the morning and Sesshoumaru's at night, she didn't see another soul. If she didn't have that window to let in some of the sounds and smell of the outside world, she was certain the room would crush her. 

Jaken had come and gone. He had added to his previous list of epithets for her before slamming the door in her face. Kagome supposed he just liked to be above somebody for a change and ignored his blustering. 

After she had eaten, she found herself once again staring at the wall and wishing she could just pass through them. If only her bag were with her! She finally had the perfect opportunity to catch up on her studies, and all her books were well beyond her reach. She picked idly at a piece of cracked mortar. Despite this, the room was still generally in good repair. The stonework was sound, and Kagome could feel the spells surrounding the place. The walls were not the real barrier to overcome for a powerful being locked in this room. 

Eager for any distraction, it made her prod at the loose piece more. Determined to remove it, she fetched her chopsticks and chipped carefully, trying to make it come free whole. With a clatter that sounded loudly in the empty room, the fragment fell to the floor. Kagome picked it up and looked at it curiously. What now?

* * *

It only took Sesshoumaru a second to recognize the change in the room, even in the dark. He lit a lamp, then cast a glance from Kagome sitting on the edge of her bed to the north wall.

The north wall, in short, looked like the margins of a middle school student's math book. Whitish scrawls cris-crossed the gray stone, imaginative doodles and nonsensical words meshing together in a collage of Kagome's scattered thoughts. He recognized the onnade; her handwriting was very pretty. It reminded him of his mother's old writings. Other forms of writing were scattered about, and he was surprised to see some of the forms were unfamiliar to him. Some characters he was forced to disregard as squiggles. Why, he wondered curiously, would this girl have occasion to learn to write? And more interesting, what manner of writing was this?

He looked back to find her staring sheepishly at the floor. "I'm sorry," she said in a small voice. When he didn't respond, she tentatively looked up. 

She peered through her dark hair as he raised his eyebrows in question. 

"I got bored," she mumbled. 

He turned and studied her scribbles for a moment more. "What did you write with?"

He didn't seem mad...not that it was easy to tell. Grudgingly, she took out what was left of the piece of mortar, tossing it to him. He turned it over once in his hand, matching the piece to the slot on the wall. He tossed it back to her, looking uninterested. Kagome let out the breath she was holding. She had been worried over his reaction, but her idleness had demanded she do something. This was simply what had suggested itself. 

She found him kneeling by her bedside, looking thoughtfully into her face. "Are you well tonight?" 

"Would it matter if I wasn't?" She sighed, fearlessly returning his gaze. 

He raised one graceful eyebrow at her petulance. She wasn't as frightened tonight, though he supposed that was to be expected. She didn't offer a hint of resistance this time when he guided her to a laying position and inspected her previous wounds. It was strange, he had never really observed the human healing process in any detail before. His cuts were not very large, but even after a full day they showed only partial signs of healing. He ran his fingers over the thin scab. How long would it take, and would they scar? She was so fragile...

"Sesshoumaru?" she called softly. 

His attention snapped back to the task at hand. He squeezed her wrist once in warning before carefully cutting her. 

Kagome gasped, her eyes widening as soon as he tasted her. He was spellbound, watching her face as she reigned and collared the power within herself. Her breath shortened. Her dark eyes had lost their focus, shining as they darted around the blank room. He felt a tug and realized her unoccupied hand had once again found the empty sleeve draped across her body. Her slender fingers curled tightly around the slippery fabric, her knuckles losing some of their color. Still, she made no attempt to wrest her trapped arm away from the demon lord, even as the rest of her body trembled with her efforts. Her heartbeat was loud in his ears. 

A shudder ran through her. Gradually, her body's pace calmed, her breathing steadying as she lay beneath him. Her softly penetrating eyes looked at him from under heavy dark eyelashes. Her hand unclenched, gently stroking the fabric until it lay smooth again. 

A small smile hovered on her shadowy face. "I don't think it was as bad this time," she said softly. "Maybe it won't be so painful anymore." 

What did it feel like, he couldn't help but wonder. What was really happening in this girl's small body? It was strange for this creature to be lying docilely in front of him; he was having difficulty reconciling this person with the one who had fought against him those many times with Inuyasha. There was something burning in her, smoldering just behind her eyes. He had seen that fire flare before, manifesting itself in that seething light that seemed to pour from her like water from a spring. The slightest stirring of wind could stir those sparks, scatter the drops of her power. Such power... under the tenuous control of such a mercurial soul. 

That strange wave washed over him warmly and he reluctantly withdrew. He gave her cut a slow lick, cleaning it of any remnants. She watched him thoughtfully as he carefully cleaned and wrapped the wound he had made. 

Kagome sat with her arms wrapped around her knees as Sesshoumaru made to leave. "Goodnight Sesshoumaru," she said softly. 

Sesshoumaru paused at the door, gazing emotionlessly out at the night. "Goodnight," he answered smoothly. 

"Kagome," she prompted. 

Sesshoumaru made no sign of having heard her and shut the door. 

* * *

The next morning, Kagome didn't wake until Jaken came to bring her food. She sat up groggily, jumping when she discovered the toad-like demon standing directly in front of her. 

She brought a hand tiredly to her sore head. It seemed like there was always a constant buzzing in her mind these past few days. "Is there something you want?" 

"Humph. Stupid human. Give me your arm." He yanked her left arm away from her and started to unwrap her bandages. "Sesshoumaru-sama commanded that your cuts be tended." He said this only to make it clear that he held no sympathy for the girl. There was little chance, however, that Kagome would have leapt to that conclusion. 

She wrinkled her nose in distaste at the feeling of Jaken's skin. He smeared some pungent smelling mixture over her cuts before re-bandaging her wrist. The toad had a bad habit of mumbling under his breath. She listened half-heartedly as he ranted about everything from the indignity of being told to help a human to praise for Sesshoumaru and his decision to make the pesky miko suffer. 

She was relieved when Jaken finally gathered everything up and left her in relative peace. She ambled over to inspect her breakfast, and was surprised to find two chunks of limestone sitting next to the food. Kagome smiled broadly. She supposed this was Sesshoumaru's way of telling her to stop chipping at his walls. 

* * *

By the fifth night, she had grown accustomed to the dreary routine of this place. The days were lonely, and every night Sesshoumaru would appear when the moon shone through her small window. 

Sesshoumaru was as distant as ever, but Kagome no longer heard such a cruel edge in his voice. Still, his business-like attitude stung her. She hoped, probably in vain, that he would show at least some remorse or discomfort at locking her away like this, but nothing seemed to reach him. 

Perhaps he had reason to be cold to her. It was partially due to her presence that he had lost that arm. It had not really been her fault, and Sesshoumaru had probably deserved it. Still, she couldn't help but feel a little sorry about it. 

He didn't scare her anymore. Well, not much. Certainly visions of his bloody battles remained fresh in her memory, but she distanced them in her mind. If there was anything she had learned from hanging out with Inuyasha and the others, it was that you can't judge a person by their body count.

And so, Kagome found herself on her sixth night of imprisonment, the contemptuous youkai latched onto her once more. The initial pain cleared, leaving only a slight haze in her mind. But that seemed always to be present now, so she pushed it from her thoughts. 

Thoughtfully, she watched Sesshoumaru. "I've been thinking..." she said evenly. 

His golden eyes flashed up briefly to look at her. 

"I've been thinking about you... and about this remedy of yours. And, well, maybe if I help, it will work better." 

Sesshoumaru waited for the change in the balance of his blood before pulling away to satisfy his curiosity. He leaned down until his face was directly over hers. "And how, miko, do you intend to do that?" 

Her eyes fluttered nervously. "I don't know. But I thought, maybe, if I tried I might be able to help more. Maybe I can control whatever it is that's inside of me."

Sesshoumaru's imperious silence put on her edge and she rambled defensively.

"I know you probably don't believe me, but I do want this to work. I'm sure, if I really try, I'll be able to help a lot more." 

Her brown eyes looked hopefully up at him, though he could not decide what it was she hoped for. "It does not matter, miko. Try as you will." 

He rose and tended her with a practiced detachment. He found his eyes straying to her writings on the wall. The north wall became more jumbled everyday with more chaotic nonsense, but the rest of the room was different. The west wall, holding the door, held the beginnings of a mural. She had carefully sketched the outline of a forest scene. She was taking great care to do it properly, he could tell. No doubt the girl was trying to make use of her surplus spare time. His eyes were drawn to the south wall, where only a few chalk marks had yet found their way. 

Three crescents were drawn following a blank space, each of slightly greater breadth than the last. They were carefully spaced; one might project that twenty-eight such shapes could possibly encircle the room. They were not quite at the top of the wall... 'but then, she cannot reach that high,' he mused. 

He let his eyes travel over the room once more, taking in everything new she had drawn over the day. Poor attempts at practicing math without a text, and some scrawled comments regarding the frustrations involved in such an endeavor. A few new half-hearted sketches of random things. A spattering of words, illustrating her opinions on whatever happened to cross her mind at the moment. In the jumble, he might have glimpsed an indication about her headaches and strange feelings, but he did not give any sign. 

"I really do mean it," she said softly. "I do want to help you."

He turned a hard look on her. "Why?" 

She looked almost confused for a moment before she answered. "Because you're hurt," she said, as if it explained everything. 

She meant it. He had a hunch that if this girl tried to lie, she would fail miserably. No, she genuinely was concerned about him. 

She was right to yield to the inevitable. It was only proper that the girl learn her place and submit to him, even offer herself as she was doing. But something about it frustrated him. He wanted her subordination; he didn't want her charity. And yet... he would be a fool to throw aside an opportunity so easily obtained.

It was not what he expected. Nor did he expect it when she gave him a hesitant smile.

_'You have captured a pure creature, Sesshoumaru.' _

He cast aside errant thoughts. They seemed to multiply every time he looked into her wide open face. He could punish her... she was the one catalyzing all these strange ideas. But to harm her further... he feared it would only worsen matters. 

Further, he was met with a somewhat startling revelation. He did not like to hurt her.

Thoughtfully, he ran a hand through her raven hair, watching in fascination as the strands flowed over his fingers. The girl watched him curiously. It was brighter tonight, and so were her eyes. Softly, he pulled away from her. 

"Goodnight, Kagome," he said, much as one would tell an errant child who had strayed after bed time. Her smile twitched again, if only slightly. 

He closed the door behind him again, feeling slightly strange. His blood was constantly adjusting under his remedy; it was to be expected. Still, there was a nagging feeling, as if there was something he had forgotten. And insubordinate thoughts. 

_'How will you justify it when you consume that light?'_

  
  


* * *

* * *

Hi again. Sorry I haven't been able to update as frequently as previously. I just don't have as much time this semester. All the same, thanks for all the interest in this story (which still kind of surprises me, but hey, whatever you want). 

That said, I'm making a resolution to update something next week. No guarantees that it will be this story, but something. 

Please feel free to leave reviews of any persuasion; I'm bulletproof. 

-Aiwe 

  


_This chapter last modified: Tuesday, September 23, 2003_


	5. Day and Night

**Chapter 5: Day and Night**

While Kagome spent her days secluded in her dim room, Sesshoumaru maintained his perpetual patrol over his lands. The weather had been uncommonly favorable over the first week of his 'experiment', yet he was forced to limit his travel in order to stay near to the girl's prison. Jaken would be sent to care for her every morning, offering the taiyoukai a few moments of peace. 

Even now, he rested thoughtfully against a tree, knowing that there would be little point in trying to make any progress this month. It would be troublesome if he attempted to move the miko. The cave-like room had been commissioned by one of his forebears, specifically for the purpose of holding powerful creatures like her. Especially those whom the captors wished particularly not to be found. It would not do to have his experiment interrupted. 

Rin was playing nearby, laughing jubilantly at the slightest provocation as she chatted at the two-headed dragon while Jaken was preparing to leave. He watched her childish movements as she stroked each of the dragon's heads. She stood on the toes of her bare, dusty feet, reaching as high as she could to touch the tops of the beasts' bent heads. 

She had noticed that Sesshoumaru had shown little interest in covering great distance this past week. They stayed close to the mountains, and he would leave her and Jaken alone every night. Jaken, too, was gone on errands more than usual. Still, Rin payed it little mind. 

"Jaken." Sesshoumaru sent a cold stare at the little youkai, who had paused in his work to glare at Rin. 

The toad peaked up tentatively. "Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama?" 

"Shouldn't you be gone?" 

Jaken gaped for a moment before scampering to leave. 

Sesshoumaru's eyes glanced over the remains of Rin's little fire from the night before. He looked at it for a moment, seemingly ignorant of the world around him. Gracefully, he bent down, picked up a piece of charcoal and wordlessly wrapped the piece in a scrap of cloth. He threw the package at Jaken's head. "Give her this." 

Jaken's eyes widened gleefully. "Sesshoumaru-sama!"

"In addition to her food, Jaken."

Jaken's face fell. "Of course, Sesshoumaru-sama." 

He watched disinterestedly as Jaken departed. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin's small voice inquired. He looked calmly down at the little girl. "Will you travel today?" She asked from simple curiosity, content to follow if he chose to go, to wait if he wanted her to stay behind, to remain with him if he desired to stay. 

"No," he said simply.

Rin gave him a cheery smile, promptly spinning off to pursue her own childish endeavors. She was so full of life, hardly ever stopping even to catch her breath. Strangely, he was much reminded of the miko. Kagome also had those ridiculously bright eyes, that same ready smile. Though perhaps her eyes were a bit dimmer, concealed within those walls. Her smile looked for any excuse to manifest itself, even if it were fleeting. Even he was not blind to the shroud her imprisonment had placed over her. 

Still, he reasoned, this arrangement was only temporary. After the miko had paid her and Inuyasha's debt, things could go back to normal. The girl was, after all, cooperating, and he had promised to allow her to keep her life in that event. 

In fact, she was doing more than simply cooperating. He had not taken her all that seriously when she had promised to him her willing assistance. Now, a few days later, he was no longer certain about her. She seemed to take her offer very seriously. Still, he would not have given it any further thought, had she not begun to show progress in her efforts. 

He could taste it-- she was changing. He wasn't sure how, but it was there, a sweet burning after-taste on his tongue. At first he was not certain, but now there could be little doubt. The power within the girl was growing. 

It disturbed him, in a distant fashion, to feel that power working within him. He believed now that his remedy truly was working, but he was somewhat unprepared for the changes. It burned warmly sometimes in what remained of his left arm. He was always aware of its presence, merging with his body in ways he did not completely understand. 

It was adapting to him, and he to it. He could tell he was changing, if ever so slightly. He found himself in a milder disposition as time went on. It was easier to stay calm. Whatever this power was doing to him, it seemed to breed tranquility. It eased his mind as it simultaneously frustrated him. Still, if Bokusenou understood this process properly, this was an expected side-effect. Her power would dissipate after the remedy was complete. 

They shared a bond now, wether they liked it or not. It only made him more inquisitive. How was she accomplishing this growth in power, especially trapped away as she was? And why would a captive seem so eager to assist her heartless captor?

* * *

Little more than a week had passed for Kagome in this empty place. Jaken had already been and gone this morning, and she had been settling once again into another day of tedious boredom. She had been standing on the tips of her toes, a fragment of charcoal in her hand as she irritably pushed her long hair away from her work. She didn't hear him enter, which never failed to unnerve her. Yet she did, somehow, feel him when he entered her presence. She would previously have cast off the feeling as nothing but nervousness, but she was beginning to recognize that strange tingling feeling for what it was. 

Slowly, Kagome rolled down from her toes and turned to face the demon in the doorway. She hardly tried to hide her nervousness at seeing him unexpectedly in the daylight. She anxiously twirled the piece in her hand, but bravely met his eyes. 

"Is there something you need, Sesshoumaru?" she asked softly.

He didn't answer right away, taking in the sight before him in the light for the first time. There were eight moons drawn now in Kagome's make-shift calender, one for each night of their trial thus far. Her sketches and notes were growing more cluttered on all of the walls he could see from his position. He cast a slow glance around him, taking in everything new she had made. 

And then there was the girl, standing somewhat uncertainly opposite him. She was still wearing that strange uniform, now very rumpled and worn. It hardly covered her, he noticed. Her legs and arms were almost entirely bare. Now that he thought about it, the warm weather was waning, and it had grown much colder, especially here in the hills. He was unsure what provoked him more, the girl's inadequate clothing, or the bandages on her wrist and arm. 

She was different too, he realized. Her skin was paler than it had been, her hair was duller and seemed limp and dispassionate. She nervously brushed her black locks away from her eyes, that bandaged wrist brushing against her light face. Her fingers accidently left a stroke of charcoal on the side of her cheek. Soft lips were innocently parted. He could hear--he could taste--every shaky breath that passed those lips. But her presence--it filled the room. Her small body seemed to operate in spite of the enormous power it had access to, almost as if the two did not acknowledge the other's existence. Yet her power was there... and it was stronger than it had been even a few nights ago. 

"Sit," he said calmly. 

She obeyed, giving him a curious look. He knelt beside her and unwrapped her bandages. She watched as he began to spread something over her cuts. "What's this?"

"It will help. You have not healed as I thought." 

She gave a small scoff. "Well of course they wouldn't heal by now." Still, the moment the words slipped past her lips, she realized it was possible that he really didn't know. 

He looked up at her sharply, though he did not halt his work. "What have you done?" 

She blinked in confusion. "What?" 

"Your power," he rested his hand softly on her sternum, "has changed." 

His hand fell with the movement of her body as she let out a breath. "I... I don't know, but I've felt it too." Her hand came up to rest over his. "I feel different. It's not as hard anymore to hold back my power when you..." She swallowed. "And I always feel like there's something nearby that I can't see. It's confusing." 

He pondered silently. Was it possible her attempts to stop her power had strengthened her control? It seemed that this was her first true exercise for her powers. Now that she was finally attempting to use and control it, it was growing so much. 

"You're doing well," he said.

She smiled at the compliment, insignificant as it was. He drew his hand a way, noticing how cool her skin seemed. 

"There are other matters I must attend to. I will see you tonight, as usual." He stood to leave, for the first time taking a good look at the west wall. This alone was not covered in scribbles, but Kagome's carefully ordered forest scene. It wasn't until he had passed the door that he realized what seemed strange about it. It exactly matched the scene a person would see if they were standing on the other side of the wall. The last thing the girl had seen before that door had closed on her. 

* * *

That night he had returned as usual. With a glance, he stopped her before she could go to her usual position. 

Wordlessly, he tossed her a white bundle. 

She caught it, squinting in confusion as some of it unraveled and flowed over her arms. "What's this?" 

"Clothes. I do not wish to see you in... those garments... again. Understood?" 

She gave him a scowl, more for his attitude than disapproval over the kimono. "Fine." 

He stood for a moment, waiting. 

"What? Now?" 

He gave her an impatient look. "Did I not say that I did not want to see you in those clothes anymore?" 

She flushed bright red. "I'm not changing with you in here! Either go outside or I'll wait until after you leave." 

He raised an eyebrow to demonstrate his disinterest before turning to the door. "Dress quickly." 

As soon as the door shut she rapidly set to work, having a difficult time picturing Sesshoumaru knocking. Fortunately, he had not brought her anything particularly complex. At least clean clothes were a welcome change. 

As she expected, he didn't bother to knock, but just walked back in when he assumed she had taken enough time. She spun around and glared at him while pulling her hair free from the kimono. 

His eyes traveled up her body, now draped in a simple silk. A pink floral pattern trailed down the length of the white kimono. As she dropped her hands her hair fell in a black wave over her shoulders, the long sleeves falling past her hands as she lowered them. She looked a lot more suitable now that she was no longer wearing those rags, and more importantly, he no longer could see the bandages on her arms. He felt some of the tension slip away from his body. 

* * *

By the twelfth day of the new month, Inuyasha was drawing closer. Sesshoumaru knew the whelp was still frantically searching for the girl, having long separated from his companions to cover more ground. Or, more accurately, because Inuyasha refused to search at their pace. His search pattern was random, but he was still advancing steadily. Perhaps there was some connection between him and the girl; he seemed to be choosing the right path without any sign of a trail. 

Something had to divert Inuyasha from his current path. It was important that he not discover her location. Especially not this early in the month. 

Sesshoumaru approached his brother from the south, not making any effort to disguise his trail. Let the hanyou think that his woman lay in that direction. There was a subtle shift in the wind, carrying his scent to Inuyasha. Sesshoumaru could sense his youki as he turned and came after him. 

Even he had not expected Inuyasha's next rash move. 

The hanyou burst from the trees with speed Sesshoumaru had not thought possible from him. He saw a quick flash as Tetsusaiga was ripped from its sheath. A roaring blur of red and white slammed into him as he registered the bite of steel ripping through his shoulder. 

Fury burned in his younger brother's eyes as he mercilessly swung the fang. For the first time, he showed no fear or weariness of the full demon. He could destroy his brother today with out a shred of hesitation. 

The force of Inuyasha's attack threw Sesshoumaru backwards. He drew Toukijin in a rush, bringing it up to parry the barrage of frantic blows. 

"How dare you! What the fuck did you do to her!?" His brother seemed almost blind with rage. He smelled of fatigue, as if he had not rested at all during his search. The fear he felt for the girl was obviously pushing the limits of his sanity. 

Sesshoumaru glared as another enraged stroke broke through his armor and cut deeply into his abdomen. The brat was damn fast in his desperation. 

With a growl, Sesshoumaru threw his blade up to lock against the fang. He tossed Inuyasha's sword away, slashing down across his brother's chest.

The blow stunned the hanyou only for a moment. Sesshoumaru flew forward, pushing Inuyasha ahead of him, trapping his brother against a tree and pinning him with his shoulder. "Are you truly so stupid to kill her like this, mutt?" 

Inuyasha's growl faltered for a moment, worry flashing in his eyes. 

Sesshoumaru hissed in his ear. "Your woman still lives. However, if you somehow managed to kill me, you would doom her to a very slow and painful death." 

Inuyasha threw his brother off of him, landing in a wary crouch. He held the point of his sword firmly pointed at Sesshoumaru. Both were now bleeding freely. 

Sesshoumaru nonchalantly lowered his blade, reaching up to touch his wounded shoulder. He glared at the blood on his hand. "That was stupid Inuyasha. Remember that I am the only one who knows were I've imprisoned the girl. Kagome cannot escape."

Inuyasha's teeth were firmly clenched as he held himself back, fighting back his rage. How dare he speak of Kagome so familiarly! "Let her go," he growled. 

Sesshoumaru returned his glare. "No. And remember, the next time you want to attack me, that her life is in my hands. If I were killed, no one would be able to find her. She would die slowly of thirst or starvation... alone... waiting for her stupid hanyou to come for her." 

Inuyasha faltered, the worry plain on his face. The point of his blade lowered slightly. 

Sesshoumaru sheathed Toukijin with a smirk. He was holding all the cards, and Inuyasha knew it. "Of course, you could never manage to kill me." He looked again at the blood on his hands. "Yet you have struck your brother. That was awfully rash. I should think up a suitable punishment for you..." 

Inuyasha's eyes widened. "Don't you dare touch her!" His body was shaking now, wanting so badly to tear his brother apart. 

Sesshoumaru raised one elegant eyebrow. "She truly is a weak point for you, isn't she? You should thank me for removing her." 

Inuyasha snarled. 

Sesshoumaru appeared right in front of him. 'He's close enough I could rip out his throat,' Inuyasha thought dangerously. Sesshoumaru smirked as if reading his brother's thoughts, even leaning forward slightly to taunt him. 

"I think it's time you put that sword away, little brother." Inuyasha growled at him in warning. "You have nothing to fear, hanyou. I promised the girl I would let you live in exchange for her surrender, after all. And if you have that blade in your hands you might do something rash."

Inuyasha shook with rage as he returned his sword and stood tensely with his claws digging into his palms. 

Torturously slow, Sesshoumaru rested his hand on his brother's shoulder. Inuyasha's muscles twitched and flexed underneath his fingers, eager to begin the fight again. The hanyou was smart enough, however, to remain still. Sesshoumaru squeezed Inuyasha's shoulder slowly. What might have at first appeared a brotherly touch slowly clenched tighter and tighter until blood squeezed from five sizzling punctures. The poison claws sank in as the other struggled not to fight back. 

Sesshoumaru spoke softly, directly into his brother's ear. "Remember... anything you do to oppose me... I will return the punishment to her." 

"You fucking bastard," Inuyasha hissed, hardly feeling the sting of the poison. "You've hurt her, haven't you? I can fucking smell it." 

Sesshoumaru gave him an uninterested look. "So what? She's only human. There are thousands more like her." A statement meant purely to provoke his brother. Even he knew that Kagome was different. It was why he had chosen her. 

Inuyasha stared his brother down angrily. "Kagome is worth more than all of them. She's more than you, even, you egotistical bastard. You have no fucking idea what you're doing. To hurt someone like her is the worst crime you've ever committed."

"Oh?" he asked softly. "Then does it bother you to know how willingly she gave herself up? And how she spills her blood for me so patiently?"

Inuyasha swallowed his bloodlust. For Kagome's sake, he could not rise to his brother's baiting. Hey growled, low and dangerously. "I won't stop until she's safe again. And when I have her back, I'll make you pay for every drop of blood, every hair on her head that's been harmed. I won't rest until I've ripped you apart and slashed your fucking face off." 

"Really?" Sesshoumaru said blandly. "Somehow I doubt that day will ever come, half breed, and remember that my promise not to kill you will not hold forever."

"I won't let you get away from this," Inuyasha promised. "I'm disgusted to share your blood."

The insult to their father's bloodline was a grave one, but Sesshoumaru hid his surprise and outrage. "If you truly value the girl, give up your search, Inuyasha."

Sesshoumaru tightened his grip on the other for a moment, the tips of his claws hitting bone before he withdrew. A sharp intake of breath was all that Inuyasha let pass his lip as Sesshoumaru released him. The hanyou stiffened as Sesshoumaru left. He could tell that the other wanted badly to chase him, only his fear for the girl held him back. 

As soon as Sesshoumaru was out of sight, Inuyasha picked up where he had left off, ignoring the pain of his wounds and the sting of the poison. If Sesshoumaru were being honest, he was putting Kagome in more danger by going after her. Still, he could not abandon her. He would never give up on Kagome. 

* * *

He was late tonight. She was apprehensive as she waited. Sesshoumaru was never late. If something had happened to him, would she even find out? 

Finally, she could feel him approach as he entered the range of her improved senses. He was slower tonight. She could sense the tension in him even before she saw his face. He entered silently, lingering just inside the door for a moment. 

"Sesshoumaru?" she said hesitantly.

He stepped into the light and she gasped at the sight of his wounds and broken armor. Before she could think about it, she was moving towards him. 

"Are you alright? What happened to you?" He felt her warm hands brush against him, gently pulling at the fabric around his wounds. Her eyes shone with concern as she took in the sight of his bloodied flesh. "We've got to do something about these!" 

His eyes widened slightly at her boldness, but he soon recovered. He pushed her hands down insistently. "There is no need." 

"But these cuts are bad!" she pressed. "They should be cleaned, at least." Her bright eyes looked up at him worriedly, and for a moment he forgot to speak. 

She scuttled around, finding the remains of her uniform and water. She tugged at him, pulling him towards her bed until he was seated to her satisfaction. She knelt beside him on the bed so that she could reach his shoulder, dabbing at the drying blood with what had been her shirt.

He knew that her actions should anger him, but he was more bewildered than anything. She locked her arm through his for stability as she hissed over his injury. Pale cool hands flitted across his damaged skin intimately, her slight breaths tumbling against his ear. What did she think she was doing? It was not her place to treat him like this, and he was shocked he was allowing her to touch him. Still, her movements were mild and practiced. Almost soothing, despite the hot pain of the wounds. 

He flexed his arm, feeling Kagome's arm tighten around it in response. Her soft hands and silky sleeves moved over him like water. She was oddly comforting. 

He vindictively thought of how his brother would react if he knew about the attention his little human miko was lavishing on him. As pleasurable as the idea was, there was another that insisted that he was deceiving the girl, allowing these ministrations even though she was unknowingly betraying his brother. 

"How did this happen?" she whispered. 

"Inuyasha," he said simply. 

He did not even have to turn his head to sense her reaction. She froze for a moment, her pulse suddenly jumping as those little breaths in his ear increased in pace. He turned to look at her, finding her dark eyes wide with shock and fear. Hastily, she drew her hands away, drawing in a sharp breath. She fell away from him, drawing herself tightly into one corner of the bed. 

She struggled to find words. "You... you saw Inuyasha?"

He regarded her for a moment. "Yes."

She curled up even further. "Was he... still looking for me?"

"Yes."

Her lips trembled and she feared to meet his eyes. "Did you... was he hurt?" 

"I did not kill him. But he did not escape without injury. We can't have him finding you, now can we?" 

Kagome did not respond. All he could do was watch as her eyes filled with tears, and, following the irresistible pull, spilled in swollen drops down her face. 

Her fingers shook nervously despite her efforts to stop them. Her shame burned her. What was she thinking, touching Sesshoumaru like that? Within the past hours, this man had once again harmed Inuyasha. Somewhere, the hanyou was out there bleeding for her, probably still searching. He was the one who cared for her, the one who protected instead of hurt her. He was the one she loved. It should be his wounds she was caring for. And still she was trapped here, bound to his enemy. Her tears were streaming messily down her face, her head lowered in guilt. 'I've betrayed him. I've made myself a willing hostage to his enemy. All I wanted was for him to be safe and to somehow be free again, but now I've only made things worse.'

"Kagome, there is still business between us tonight," he said, a hint of reprimand in his voice. Still, he lifted her with a gentleness that did not mesh with his words. He should not have allowed her to try to treat his wounds. Her tears made him far too uncomfortable; a distant part of him knew that there was no satisfaction in so selfishly hurting her. 

He had not meant his threats to Inuyasha. While it would be absurdly simple to punish the girl for his aggression, the idea of it was abhorrent. Just days ago he had claimed that this trial was only a punishment for fighting against him, and a satisfying bit of revenge against the hanyou who had caused him such trouble. He was having difficulty remembering, though, what this woman barely out of childhood could have done to earn his ire. 

There was still, however, his desire to become whole again, and no amount of tears on her part would separate him from that goal. 

She did not lift her eyes. Still, her shaking voice said more than she would have liked. "Do you want me to finish cleaning your cuts?" 

Her hands twitched as if frightened to touch him again. He toyed for a moment with the thought of her continuing. 

"Never mind. It is time we finished our business for this evening." 

Kagome only nodded. 

She did not fight him when he arrayed her on her bed, only cried harder. He pulled up her white sleeve as she turned her head away from him, a look of pure suffering on her face. She hiccuped when he lifted her arm. 

She heard a small sigh and felt him release her arm. A moment later, a cool clawed hand brushed over her damp cheek, lightly turning her head to face him. 

She could not completely shake her fear of his touch. Every hint of gentleness threw her further into confusion. Still, she could not mistake the smooth stroke of his hand for anything else. He was trying, as best he could, to comfort her. She didn't know wether to flinch away or pull herself closer. 

"Kagome, stop crying." 

She almost gasped when she heard Sesshoumaru's voice. Though his phrasing was obviously a command, his intonation was almost pleading. She was surprised, if nothing else. She quieted slightly. 

He was right, she needed to bring herself back under control. There was nothing she could do about her imprisonment right now, nothing more she could do to help Inuyasha. Her only hope of ever leaving this place was to accomplish what Sesshoumaru wanted. She could not give in, couldn't despair so early. If this was what she had to do, so be it. Eleven days of this torture was already behind her, and she stubbornly resolved to see it through to the end. She would remain strong. 

Her crying slowly melded into long slow breaths. "I'm ready now, Sesshoumaru," she said calmly. She felt the warmth of his hand leave her face. Her drying tears chilled her further, but she was quiet now. 

She didn't flinch when he cut her. 

He proceeded in silence for a moment, watching calm steadily overcome the girl's mood. She no longer had to extend any great effort to control her power, even though it had grown in strength. Her breathing was slow and steady, and she seemed deep in thought. It was as if she had reached some sort of compromise within herself, her guilt and pain pushed aside in a semblance of peace. 

"I never could draw right," Kagome said distantly, breaking the silence. Her tears had dried and her eyes were clear. She looked at the dark walls rather than him. "They said I didn't have the patience to do it well. But I thought, hey, I've got nothing but time. Right?" 

It was strange how quickly Kagome's emotion changed. She had been so broken only a moment ago, but had quickly found some strength within herself. Her voice was almost musical in its melancholy.

His thoughts glanced over the girl's pet project, her mural of what lay beyond the door. It still seemed odd, that she so accurately remembered the landscape. Closer comparison had revealed that her scene was too similar to the one outside to be mere chance. 

"It would be better if I had something green... or blue... or anything." She gave him a thoughtful look. "It would be nice to go outside again." Then she looked away and refused to meet his golden eyes. 

He finished, assisting her to a sitting position. He carefully tended to his work, not raising his eyes until he was done. He pulled her sleeve back down over her arm and searched for her eyes. She was looking into a corner of the room, purposely letting her hair obstruct his view of her face. 

"Kagome," he said firmly. 

She gave a small nod. 

"Kagome, look at me." 

Her nervous brown eyes alighted upon his. He reached up and brushed her hair away from her face, nudging it behind her shoulder. 

"I cannot allow you to leave this room." Especially as long as Inuyasha is looking for you.

Hurt, anger, sadness, confusion, loss. All of them sparkling in her eyes in the split second before her gaze dropped. 

"Why not? Just for a little?" She tried not to sound too pleading. He wouldn't like that. 

He ran his fingers down her smooth arm. "I will not allow anything endanger the success of this venture. You don't want to start over, do you?" 

She shook her head, her hair once again falling over her face. She was trying to hide from him again. 

He knew she didn't belong in a place like this. Her strength of spirit aside, a soul like hers did not adapt well to this confinement. 

He wasn't sure what provoked his next reactions. She had simply looked so forlorn. He slid his arm around her shoulders, pulling her smaller body against his chest. She tensed at his actions, silently straining away from him. His grip did not yield, and she tiredly relaxed into him with a small whimper. She was exhausted, he realized, worn down in both mind and body. So was he. 

She was cold. Her skin was icy to the touch. He should have been paying more attention to how cold this place became as winter approached. Why didn't she tell him that she was suffering? Though his mind supplied that answer readily enough: she either assumed that he already knew and was doing it to hurt her, or that she didn't believe he cared. In either case, he knew that she had very good reason to believe as she did. He resolved to bring her some more warm clothes and blankets. He could not allow his negligence to harm her.

His wounds from earlier were already healing. By morning they would be gone. He was more aware than ever that while he would recover so quickly, her injuries would linger. Already, her exhaustion had overpowered her anxieties and she had fallen asleep against him. She was so fragile, he thought as he stroked her hair, much as he would pet a caged bird. 

In the mysteries surrounding this strange girl, two facts were coming into focus. 

Her power was somehow growing stronger. 

Her body was becoming weaker. 

  
  


* * *

* * *

Sorry for the delay. Shit happens. Shit and organic chemistry. Stupid, stupid organic chemistry. Your reviews have been really supportive and actually quite helpful. Thanks a bunch. 

Someone asked for clarification on a few things, so here we go:

One, the side effects will wear off after Sesshoumaru drinks her blood. Two, you don't turn into something by eating it. I hope. Or I'm screwed. So there's no chance of diluting his demon blood in this story. Third, Kagome is actively trying to 'seal' her powers, in effect keeping her blood from purifying him and actually altering it to be helpful. It's an inherent ability that she is growing better at with all the 'practice' Sesshoumaru is giving her. 

Amreld: *twitch* I was hoping no one would think of that. I'm trying to keep it on the down low. The title just fit so well... I mean, it's just another word, right? It's not my fault if it's been used in unsavory ways in the past, right? *twitch*

Threnody: *blinks* Huh. You're right, now that I think about it. Thanks!

Please Review!

  
  


_This Chapter last modified: Tuesday, October 14,2003_


	6. Inside and Out

**Chapter 6: Inside and Out**

In accordance with the rules that govern all such things, Sesshoumaru's simple plan was growing increasingly more complicated. 

Inuyasha was hunting them with every resource at his disposal. Sesshoumaru had even heard rumors that the wolf packs to the south had somehow been persuaded to join the search. Kagome's existence was carefully hidden by the wardings and spells of her room and the area surrounding it. However, the most recent complication was destroying even that security. 

The growth of Kagome's power could not have been predicted. Her aura was larger, now overpowering the wards and penetrating the walls. There was something about the girl that called to youkai, the purity of her spirit seemed to invoke the most primal responses. Creatures of darkness all carried that lust to taint, to destroy, to kill those like her, the foil of things impure. Even the most powerful demons would be drawn; power always calls to those who lust for it. Even before this explosion of power, demons must have been attracted to her in swarms. There was also the undeniable attraction of Kagome herself. She was unusually beautiful, and she carried about her an air of innocent and bravery. Even her scent was alluring.

Sesshoumaru had been forced to kill several youkai trying to reach the miko. More approached the miko's cage every day, always irrationally driven to reach her. The movement of the demons would not go unnoticed forever, he had to find a way to prevent her aura to continue to escape its bounds. 

Eventually, he was forced to seek out solutions. 

The prison in the hillside was very old, it's original craftsman was long since dead. However, one youkai who had originally served as an apprentice had assisted Sesshoumaru before. 

Inken himself was quite ancient, residing in the far north. Like his master before him, he was very skilled with metal and stone. Or, more accurately, with integrating them with powerful dark magic. 

Sesshoumaru invited himself to the youkai's run down home, little more than a dank hole beside an abandoned quarry. Only the thick black smoke spoke to the residence of the reclusive demon. 

The decrepit old youkai was hunched over his work, his long narrow nose twitching in concentration every once in a while. Dim red eyes were set in a sagging yellow face. His hair was dark and drawn messily behind his head. Sesshoumaru glared in disgust. This place stank. 

"Inken," he snapped irritably. 

The other demon turned, looking momentarily frightened. After a moment he relaxed, offering Sesshoumaru a toothy smile. 

"Sesshoumaru-sama, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?"

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed in irritation. "I've come to speak about a prison your predecessor built."

"What about it?" the rat-like man asked, deftly removing his fingers from the task in his hands. 

"The spells are failing. My prisoner's powers are starting to break through."

The other youkai gave him the glare that overcomes all who consider themselves master craftsmen when they feel their work has been unfairly criticized by some stupid layman. "That's not possible. Those spells are bound to the stone itself. They aren't breakable. The chains alone should carry enough magic to hold whatever you may wish." 

"I am speaking of the wards on the room only."

Inken gave him a sharp look. "Well, that's the problem. Put the thing in the chains, Sesshoumaru-sama. They're by far more powerful than the stone. I know my craft well. The metal is far more malleable, much better for holding spells. Lock him in those and he'll never be able to move again." 

A dark cloud passed across Sesshoumaru's face. "The creature I have imprisoned is... delicate."

The greasy grin stretched even wider, showing off long rows of pointed teeth. Inken let out a few hiss-like chuckles. "You should have said so in the first place, Sesshoumaru-sama. Caught yourself a little pet, have you? Something delicate...hmm..." A devious glint lit the demon's red eyes. He leaned towards the youkai lord slightly, drawing in the faint traces of female scent clinging to him. 

Sesshoumaru's hand moved to Toukijin's hilt, glaring at the smith. 

Inken merely waved him off, though he was quite preoccupied by the scent. "Ah, don't worry. I would never reveal any details about one of my customers. What you do with this 'delicate creature' of yours is your own business. I suppose you'll be wanting something... more suitable... to restrain her with?" 

Slowly, Sesshoumaru let his hand move back to his side. "Yes. I will compensate you fairly."

"Does the creature channel her power through her hands, her eyes, ground, or air?" 

He recalled her bright arrows of light, her power exploding into him as she pressed herself away from him in fear. "Her hands. She is quite powerful."

"The challenge only makes it more pleasurable," he said slimily. "I see you believe the same, Sesshoumaru-sama." He was quite interested in whatever Sesshoumaru was holding captive. For the taiyoukai to show any sort of interest in a woman was unusual. She had to be something remarkable, but he knew better than to think he would get any additional information from Sesshoumaru. 

Sesshoumaru glared irritably. "Just finish them quickly so I may leave." 

The rat never shed that sinister grin. "Always a pleasure doing business with you, Sesshoumaru-sama."

* * *

He entered her room silently, a pair of silver manacles in his hand concealed by his sleeve. She turned to him from her sketches and smiled warmly, her hair shimmering as it slid over her white shoulder. He had been coming to her occasionally in the daylight, since he had to stay nearby anyway to chase away other demons. 

"Good morning, Sesshoumaru," she greeted him. 

He nodded politely. "Kagome, come here." 

Her soft steps echoed in his ears. She looked up at him innocently, dark eyes sparkling with the tepid sunlight filtering through her window. He experimentally felt the weight of the restraints he had brought. They were quite light, comparatively, perfectly smooth and beautifully formed. A light but strong chain ran from one cuff to the other. 

"Hold your hands out." 

She looked at him curiously, but did as he asked. The manacles chimed sweetly as he took them out. 

He moved slowly to put the first around her wrist, but she instinctively shied away. Her bottom lip quivered as she gave him a hurt and betrayed look. 

"What did I do? You said you wouldn't chain me." Her pulse jumped, hammering in both of their ears. 

He drew a patient breath. It would be easy enough to wrestle her into them, even with one hand, but he very much preferred that she allow him to do it. He didn't want to bruise her. He didn't want her more hurt than she already had to be. 

"You have been very cooperative," he said calmly. "These are for your protection." 

She looked at him in confusion, her hands hidden behind her back. She was obviously not convinced. "I don't want those on me," she stuttered, well aware that when it came down to it, she didn't really have a choice. "I promise I won't disobey you or anything!" 

He held back still, hoping she would calm. "I know that you won't. Please trust that this is necessary. You said that you wanted to help, did you not?" 

She nodded apprehensively, biting softly on her bottom lip. 

He frowned. He didn't really want to chain her either, but it was the only course of action. Still, Inuyasha and his searchers seemed to be moving further away from the hiding spot right now... ah. 

"Kagome, after these are on, I will take you outside." 

Immediately, her eyes lit up, her whole body jumping to attention. She looked at him hopefully, a glimmer of doubt still lingering. "I could bathe and everything?" 

He nodded. 

She shifted her weight in indecision. "You promise?" 

"I promise." 

Hesitantly she held out her hands again. 

He released the latch, letting the cuff fall open on it's hinges. She jumped and gasped when he brought it in contact with her skin. Hastily he drew them back.

"Are you alright?" If Inken had messed up the spells and hurt her, he would make the rat pay in blood. 

"It's really cold," she said rubbing her wrist. She looked up and noticed his blank look. "What? It is cold! I just wasn't ready for it." 

He shook his head slightly as she gave her arms back to him. She made a face when he put the cold metal in contact with her skin again, reminding him so much of a small child. He fumbled with his one hand to close the cuff while preventing it from slipping from her wrist. 

"Here," she said softly, using her other hand to close the manacle and hold it patiently while he locked it. She helped him close the other, standing and fidgeting while he inspected her restraints. The chain was almost half a meter long, allowing her most of her movement. The manacles were snug around her wrists, but not uncomfortably so. Most importantly, it trapped her presence within herself. 

He quickly turned back to the door, opening it and taking a step outside. He glanced back to where Kagome still stood dumbly, worried about whether she had been right to trust him. He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Coming?" 

She smiled brightly and scampered out after him. 

No sooner had he closed the door behind them, he was tackled from the side by Kagome. He froze in the embrace, startled by the girl's strange reaction as she giggled into his sleeve. Her chain was pressed tightly between them. 

"Thank you so much!" She bubbled, gradually separating herself from the shocked youkai. She hardly seemed to notice his unease, looking around herself hungrily, trying to soak in every detail. 

She was breathing so deeply, her whole body moving with her every attempt to take in the free air. Her naturally upturned smile was wider, if not as bright red as it should have been. Out here in the free light it was even more obvious. The girl was far too pale. 

Wordlessly he turned down the slope, Kagome hurrying to follow. The chains rang brightly when she moved, as if it weren't enough that he was so acutely aware of her dutiful footsteps behind him. He was on edge; he half wanted to turn and snarl at her to be still. Anything so that he wouldn't be so aware of the chains. Or the girl. 

He heard a warm contented sigh from behind him. Though he could not see her, he could imagine her expression. He held his path and his tongue. 

Kagome was so pleased to be outside to pay much notice to Sesshoumaru's actions. She much preferred the chains to that dark room. The yellow cast of the sun belied the cold breeze, but Kagome welcomed the chill against her skin. She didn't know where Sesshoumaru was leading, and couldn't find the will to care at the moment. 

Escape was out of the question. Both of them knew that. But rescue... Kagome still held some hope for that. Somewhere out there, Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Shippou were looking for her. That pulse of hope, however, was destroyed in her certainty that Sesshoumaru would not have let her out if there was a chance for a rescue. 

The wind caught Sesshoumaru's empty left sleeve. It fluttered gracefully in time with his long hair, though the rest of him was as smooth and complete to tempt perfection. Looking ahead at Sesshoumaru's white form, she released that as much as she wanted to be free, a part of her was determined to see this through. As much as she resented him, sometimes even feared him, she could not dispose of her troublesome instinct. He needed her. Neither of them could define why, precisely, but both knew it was true. She would help heal him because it was not within her to ignore that need. 

No, she would travel this path to its end. In addition, it had become a challenge to herself. Her power was growing, something she was secretly proud of. She had been actively working at channeling and controlling it during her long and often painful sessions with Sesshoumaru, and even she was startled at the speed her holy powers were evolving. Sesshoumaru seemed different also. And so over the days she had begun to wonder: perhaps she really could do this thing he claimed she was capable of. 

She realized Sesshoumaru had stopped and stumbled up behind him. She looked past him, to where Jaken was waiting with a strange two-headed animal and a small human girl with a curious expression on her face. 

Sesshoumaru watched Kagome from the corners of his eyes as she stood shyly just behind him. It seemed her long days alone had made her more skittish than usual, though it did not escape his notice that she felt safe hiding behind him. 

"Rin," he said clearly. 

She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Hai?"

"This is Kagome. Look after her for me." 

Rin's face burst into a wide grin. "Hai, Sesshoumaru-sama!" 

Kagome cast him a confused look. 

He turned to her, speaking softly. "I will be close. The stream is just through the trees. Make good use of your time." 

Kagome nodded, then turned to Rin. Immediately her grin spread to match Rin's. "Want to go take a bath, Rin-chan?" 

"Hai!" Both of them turned for the trees in a rush. At the tree line, Kagome suddenly stopped short. "Kagome nee-san? What's wrong?" 

Sesshoumaru held his breath as Kagome didn't answer, but remained still as if stricken. For a long moment, she kept her back to him. Finally, she turned, an indescribable look on her face as her eyes met his nervously. Even slower, she walked back to him, her eyes on the ground. She stood in front of him wringing her hands. 

"Kagome, what's wrong?" he asked softly. 

"Um..." She refused to look up at him. "I can't..." 

"You can't...?" he prompted. He inclined his head to try and see her face. 

Her voice fell even quieter. "The sleeves..." A flush was spreading up her cheeks. 

"What?"

She raised her head only slightly, the blush now bright on her face. "I can't... remove my clothes with the chain." 

"Ah," he said, finally understanding. He couldn't help but smile at her blush. He picked up her wrist, unlocking one of the cuffs. Her aura was only slightly spilled. "The other one stays on. Be quick, or I will come after you." 

She glared at him, though it wasn't very threatening with her face as red as it was. She lost even more of her menace when she laughed and turned to sprint after Rin. 

* * *

After even a few moments together, it was clear that Rin was a bright and very pure-hearted little girl. They had only encountered each other once before, though it had left Kagome wondering why a human would be with Sesshoumaru. Even now, the answer was no more clear. 

Rin seemed to adore Sesshoumaru unconditionally. She obviously was not much bothered that Sesshoumaru was holding another human captive. Probably she had seen him do much worse before. And though Rin was almost unshakably cheerful, it was clear that she had gained some wisdom and insight into the hardships of life. She was not ignorant, but perhaps she saw more in Sesshoumaru than others did. 

Kagome washed herself quickly, knowing how little Sesshoumaru would be concerned about her privacy if he got impatient. Still, she took the opportunity to ask some burning questions.

"Rin-chan, what are you doing here with Sesshoumaru?"

The other girl played with the water at her toes as she thought. "Rin goes with him." 

"But why do you go with him?" 

Rin answered plainly, the answers obvious in her mind. "He saved me from the wolves and he keeps things from hurting me. I'm not alone because I have Sesshoumaru-sama and Jaken-sama and Ah-Un."

"Did he ask you to come?"

"Hmm... no." 

"And you followed him anyway?" 

Rin smiled. "He did not say anything. But he did not tell Rin to go! Sesshoumaru-sama always speaks when he wants you to do something. Like when he tells Jaken-sama to be quiet." Rin wrinkled her nose in emphasis. 

"But why does he want Rin-chan, I wonder," she said, mostly to herself. 

"Because Jaken-sama is boring!" Rin said decisively. 

The response gave her pause for a moment before Kagome let loose a bright peal of laughter. "You're probably right. But we better hurry back." 

* * *

He watched them play together for most of the day; Kagome was cleaned and back into her restraints properly. They were currently nested comfortably in the valley's grasses, playing with flower stems and talking animatedly. Even with his impeccable hearing, it sounded more like a couple of birds chirping rapidly together than a couple of humans. Females...

Part of him was lulled by their comfort and happiness. It made him feel more peaceful just to be here watching over the two of them, a strange 'rightness' to the situation. Kagome looked so bright... not the pale specter she was when locked away. She almost shone, inwardly and outwardly. Her free smiles and laughs had a strange effect on him. 

He wanted to simply lose himself in these few moments of peaceful ignorance, but his heart twisted nonetheless. He was her jailor, the man who held her enslaved. If there was a reason why her smiles had become rarer, it was due to him. His fault she looked far more pale than she should be. His fault she cried. His fault she was in pain. Her loneliness, her anguish, her fear, her worry. All because him. All for him. 

But today, she was still smiling. 

When the sun began to sink westward, he reluctantly resigned himself to go and break up the girls. 

"Kagome." Both girls promptly halted their conversation and looked up at him. "It's time to return."

His spirits fell when the smile melted from her face. She gathered her strength around her, settling it over herself resolutely. She knew it had been fortunate to get even this amount of freedom. 

"Goodbye, Kagome nee-san," Rin said disappointedly. Kagome stood and brushed herself off, both of the girls sad-faced. 

"She will be back tomorrow," he decided. 

His remark was met with two impromptu grins. He turned uncomfortably, leading the way back up the slope.

Kagome was slower than usual. He could hear the fatigue in her movements. She wasn't supposed to tire this easily. He suspected that he had allowed her to overdo it. She was using energy she obviously couldn't afford to spend. He would have to be more careful tomorrow. Perhaps her condition would improve with the fresh air--as long as the risk remained low. 

He heard a soft startled cry behind him. Quickly he turned to see her lying on the ground. Her white kimono was like a pool of light in the growing shadow. For a brief moment she didn't even move, but slowly stirred and rose shakily to her hands and knees. He heard her try to catch her breath, her face hidden by her long dark hair. It was only then that he noticed she still had a bunch of wild flowers clutched in one of her supporting hands. 

"Kagome?" He said softly. 

He caught the glimmer of her dark eyes as she looked up at him from the ground. "I'm fine," she mumbled. He moved closer to her, ready to assist her if he had to. She ignored him as she resolutely regained her feet. "I just tripped in the dark," she said softly in explanation. 

He grasped her around her upper arm, his firm hold telling her in no uncertain terms that she was going to accept his assistance up the hill. Sesshoumaru ignored the ring of her chain as she acquiesced to his guidance, cautiously brushing herself off. They traveled the remainder of the distance in silence. 

He opened the door for her. She hesitated only slightly, her head held high as she shuffled in. His eyes caught the fifteen moons on the walls. 

"Sesshoumaru... thank you, for today." 

It seemed so dark after the bright day, even with the light of the near-full moon. Kagome still shined, but her light could not reach beyond these walls. The flowers fell to the floor by her bed. She was already lying down tiredly, her eyes closing as she waited for him to come to her. 

For that he was thankful. Tonight when he bled her, he did not want to have to face her eyes. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

* * *

Wow. I really have to thank you guys for all of the great feedback you've given me on this story. I worked extra hard so I'd get a chapter up this week. Hope you enjoyed. 

Well, there were several questions about the story. Unfortunately, I am unable to answer them without revealing too much. I've got 4 chapters left... and some interesting twists I'm going to try to work in which I'm gonna keep to myself. I started outlining this story with and around chapters 8 and 9, so we should be getting into the good parts soon. 

Additionally, many of you have expressed your concerns about the possibility of Kagome dying. Come on now, would I do that? Just look at my last story! There were only one or two or eight character deaths. Er... bad example. Anyway, the next chapter deals a lot more with that. 

Please review. I always love feedback of all sorts.

-Aiwendil

  
  


_This chapter last modified: Tuesday, October 21, 2003_


	7. Half Empty

**Chapter 7: Half empty**

The next few days were noticeably more pleasant. In the morning Sesshoumaru would retrieve Kagome and watch over her and Rin. 

Kagome was happier, cheerful in spite of every restriction Sesshoumaru imposed on her. Each day he shortened her time outside, hauling her back to her room if he detected the slightest weariness from her. He would not allow her to move about as much as she wished, and made a point of glaring at her if he thought she was extending herself.

She could not deny that she felt tired all the time now. She was dressed warmly in response to the cooling weather, but often found herself shivering in spite of it. Often spells of dizziness would come over her, but she did her best to hide them from Sesshoumaru until they passed. Her body was fighting a losing battle. She had bled every night for over half a month now, and she simply could not repair herself fast enough to keep up. Every clear night, she would watch the waning moon, waiting eagerly for it to disappear so this could all end. 

He watched her like a hawk. He didn't have to tell her to save her strength anymore. Kagome mostly just sat with Rin, talking and smiling as if she could ignore the world around her. She was deteriorating more rapidly now, as much as she tried to hide it from him to lengthen her time outside. He shouldn't have brought her out in this wind where she might be found, but was reluctant to take the only pleasure she had away from her. 

In increasing frequency, he was forced to destroy demons that were hunting her. The traces of her scent and magic were impossible to hide completely, and he would leave Kagome and Rin under the protection of Jaken and Ah-Un while he killed the hunters before they could get close. He would return minuets later, resuming his careful watch. Every day he let her outside, it grew increasingly more dangerous. 

* * *

Though he had seen the storm clouds of disaster building, they were still caught in the downpour. 

It was the twenty-second day of the cycle, and the coming winter was in the air. Kagome and Rin were nestled behind an outcropping, trying to stay away from the wind. Kagome was slightly surprised he had even let her out today, but did not question her good luck. She played simple games with Rin, glad for the company. 

As if she were suddenly plunged into icy water, a wave of jaki watched over her. She froze in its icy grip, the air rushing from her lungs as her vision faded to black. The darkness reached out like cold clawed fingers, running uninvited down her skin and hair. She could feel someone watching her in the dark, their black intentions thick in her mind. She struggled to throw off the feeling and escape whatever was holding her. She shook her head forcefully, frightened by the intensity of the malignant emotions watching over her. 

Then, as suddenly as it arrived, the sensation was gone and she opened her eyes to the daylight again. She gasped in relief, feeling no traces now of whatever had just happened. It had only lasted a few seconds, it might even have been her imagination. 

The wind changed direction, whipping her hair and clothes up around her. She shivered, suddenly unbearably cold. The moment she had made this self admission, the thousands of aches and pains demanded to be recognized. A groan passed her lips involuntarily. She felt faint, suddenly wanting nothing more than a warm bed. 

"Kagome nee-san? Are you ok?" Rin put a warm hand on Kagome's back. 

Kagome recovered slightly, giving Rin a reassuring smile. "I'm fine." She looked up, ready to admit defeat and ask Sesshoumaru to take her back. He was nowhere in sight. 

Frowning, she felt outwardly for his presence. It was a new knack that she was still trying to get used to. He was on the edge of her senses, easily recognizable. With him was another demon. Powerful, though it was nowhere near as strong as Sesshoumaru. Both of their youki flared angrily. They were... fighting? She was startled to realize that there were more unaccounted for demons nearby and growing closer. 

"Jaken!"

The little toad looked up at her grouchily. "What?"

"Do you feel them?"

"Feel what?" 

"The youkai... they're coming closer."

He frowned. He could not sense them, but he would not admit that his senses were duller than a human's. "Sesshoumaru-sama probably already knows."

She sighed tiredly, trying to send her powers further. 

She started when two youkai that had been on the periphery of her range suddenly put on a burst of speed. She came to her feet so fast that her head spun and she almost fell. By the time she had recovered enough to call out to Jaken, they were almost upon them. 

A blood-red creature crashed out from the woods, slamming a gigantic fist down at Jaken and Ah-Un. 

The bull-like youkai was about three times as large as Ah-Un, covered with thick-corded muscle. He swatted Jaken away like a bug before he could even use his staff. A bolt from one of the dragon's heads caught it, but it didn't even seem to feel it. It's partner emerged behind it, both of them slamming into Ah-Un at the same time. Ah-Un hit the rock face hard, bones audibly snapping as they hit the creature until it lay still. 

In just seconds both turned to Kagome and Rin. Kagome crowded Rin behind her. They were cornered, the steep rock wall behind them and the outcropping on their side. 

As two sets of burning red eyes and cruel jaws turned to face them, Kagome realized that even if she had a route, she had no strength to run. 

They just looked at her for a moment, their eyes glinting hungrily. Their mouths foamed as they growled menacingly. At least they didn't seem to care about Rin. 

Kagome didn't have time to scream before the larger lunged forward and grabbed her. Its huge hand clamped around her body, forcing the air from her lungs and yanking her off the ground. She whimpered breathlessly, her chained hands grasping feebly at the huge fingers that held her. 

The grip tightened painfully every time she tried to move. She froze as she was brought closer to the demon's face. She flinched when the hot rancid breath hit her, helpless to move. It snorted loudly. 

'It's... smelling me?' she thought with closed eyes. Something hot and wet ran up her arm and face. She shuddered. The claws of its other hand pinched into her shoulders, painfully pinning her still. 

She panicked, struggling as much as she could. She dug her fingernails into his hand, trying to force her holy power into it. Suddenly the pain exploded in her mind, but still her power refused to surface. The beast squeezed harder with a low growl. 

She couldn't breath at all, completely blinded by the pain. She put all of her strength into purifying it, but her powers once again could not emerge. Instead, it threw her further into her pain. She couldn't hear the noises it made anymore, nor see anything beyond the bright flashes that spiked her vision. She went limp, her breath and her strength gone. 

* * *

Sesshoumaru burst from the forest in a blur of white light. He took in the situation in an eye-blink--Rin trapped fearfully against the rocks, Kagome trapped between two powerful youkai, one of was crushing her in his grasp. Both were staring at the unresponsive girl like she was some rare delicacy. Stupid beasts--they did not even understand why they were so blinded by the need to have her. They did not understand what they had in their hands; they would so stupidly consume a source of such great power. 

Toukijin, still bloody from his last fight, was thrust into the youkai's back. The beast reared, roaring its pain to the sky. Kagome was thrown away from his grip, her body impacting against the rock face and tumbling to the ground. 

He did not waste a moment to look at her. His eyes flashed angrily as Toukijin's kenatsu diced both of her attackers to pieces. They didn't even have time to realize what had hit them. Sesshoumaru sheathed his sword and spread a heavy mist of green-glowing toxins to destroy the carcases. 

His heart twisting uncomfortably, he rushed to Kagome's side. She was lying still where she had landed. Her clothes were torn, but he could not see any obvious major injuries. 

Gently, he laid a hand on her still shoulder, listening for signs of life. "Kagome?"

He let out a breath when she stirred. She gave a low moan of pain, her pale face drawing into a wince. "Sesshoumaru...?" 

"Yes." He gently nudged her onto her back as Rin came to stand at her side. He refrained from asking if she was alright. Instead, he carefully looked her over for injuries. There were two claw marks on her shoulders; the wounds were not large, but were surrounded by growing bruises. The smell of the beast was all over her. 

Kagome's eyes were closed and she flinched at every movement. "It hurts to breathe," she gasped. 

Sesshoumaru gave Rin a quick glance. "Rin, go take care of Jaken and Ah-Un." His hands fell to Kagome's ribs. 

Immediately, a sharp cry of pain tore from her lips. She looked up at him with a pleading expression. 

"They're bruised at least," he said simply. "I can't tell if they're broken." 

"I don't think they're broken," she said painfully. As soon as she said it, she started coughing. Once she started, she could not stop the painful throes. Her whole body tossed, her bruised back hitting the ground repeatedly no matter how she tried to stop it. Her lungs and throat burned, her chest ached as though each cough threatened to break her in half. 

She felt Sesshoumaru's hand slide under her neck, supporting her head and torso. He leaned her against him, letting his body absorb some of the shock of her coughs. She couldn't ever remember being in so much pain, and the coughing just wouldn't stop. Tears squeezed from her tightly-shut eyes as she preyed for something to stop her agony. 

Gradually, her cough attack slowed until she was only taking gasping breaths. Panicked, she tried to slow her down her breathing, every large intake of breath sent shooting pains through her body. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, startled to see a smear of red from her lips. She hoped Sesshoumaru had not noticed it and quickly hid her hand. 

She slowly gained control, weeping silently in Sesshoumaru's lap. Now that she had calmed, she registered his hand stroking her hair, as if he was trying to comfort her. 

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "You should not have been hurt."

Kagome was too tired to do much other than to nod weakly. "Take me back?" She whispered.

Getting her back up the slope would not be comfortable no matter what he did. She was in no condition to walk or ride, and he had only one arm to carry her. Previously, he had held her around the chest, but he feared doing so now would cause her too much pain and may bring on another coughing fit. 

He had been careless. He had sensed the growing danger and still had allowed her out. Then he had failed to recognize the possibility that some of the stronger demons might be smart enough to cooperate to get past her protection. Now she was paying the price. 

"You must stand for a moment," he said. He helped her rise by lifting her by her arm, which was less injured than the rest of her. Kagome swayed for a moment, but stayed on her feet. She kept both hands on him for support. 

He bowed forward and lowered his head. "Put your arms around my neck."

She stood dazed for a moment before she lifted her chain over his head and weakly clasped her hands behind him. 

He lifted her under her thighs as he straightened, allowing her body to come to rest against his. She hissed in pain as she was jostled, but didn't make another sound. She curled into him as much as she could. 

Sesshoumaru turned his attention to his companions. Both Jaken and Ah-Un had found their feet and looked none the worse for wear. 

"Jaken, take Rin further down into the valley. Wait for me there. Do not fail me again."

Sesshoumaru was obviously very, very angry. Jaken quickly jumped to do what he was told. 

Kagome was far to busy trying to keep her chest from hurting to notice how completely enraged Sesshoumaru was. He kept his grip on her as firm and gentle as he could, no matter his foul mood. His steps were quick and smooth as he carried her back. 

"Sesshoumaru... I tried." In her over-stressed mind, it seemed important that she explain this to him. "I tried... to purify it... but I failed."

"Don't talk if it hurts you," he said shortly. She fell silent, concentrating on breathing slowly. 

After a long quiet, she heard Sesshoumaru's voice rumble through his chest as she was pressed against him. "Your chains seal your holy powers. That is why you could not fight back." 

"Oh good," she sighed. "I thought it was just me. Why did they only want me and not Rin?"

"Because you are not like other humans," he said honestly. 

"Am too," she answered reflexively. She seemed so weary, he imagined she wasn't paying much attention to the conversation and just being obstinate out of habit. 

He would have been amused if he wasn't still so angry. If she had not been bound, she may have been able to stop the demons by herself. Not only had he allowed her to be attacked, he had taken her only form of defense. 

Damn it, why had he even allowed her out here in the first place? Just because this one human woman looked at him sadly he gave in and put his purpose in jeopardy. What concern of his was it if she was unhappy or not? What did it matter if the girl suffered, so long as she was still suitable for his remedy. Soon he would have what he wanted and he could get rid of her as he chose. Now was not the time for stupid mistakes, and if she died on him he would be back to the beginning. 

They were still days from completion, and Kagome was very weak, and now injured as well. He had found that as time wore on, he required less of her blood to fill his need as her power had grown. Now they were caught in a dangerous balancing act, trying to keep Kagome intact until the end of the month while Sesshoumaru continued to rob her of more of her healing resources every night. 

He returned her to her room, laying her gently onto her bed and carefully covering her. "Stay here and do not move," he ordered in no uncertain terms. 

Kagome heard him leave and was suddenly frightened to be left alone. She was so tired and only wanted the pain to fade so she could sleep. She knew Sesshoumaru would not allow her outside again, but she didn't much care at the moment. 

She was already half asleep when Sesshoumaru returned. He pulled her blankets down and looked at her for a moment. "Sit up." 

Kagome felt his hand guide her up on her shoulder, holding her until he was certain she'd stay still. 

Sesshoumaru took her hand and unlocked her manacle. When he went to remove the other, he was surprised when it simply fell away at his touch. Lifting it to his eyes, he noticed hair-like fractures all around the surface of the metal, one large crack completely breaking it. The other was much the same. Apparently Kagome's efforts had simply been too much for the metal to take. 

Nothing was going right, he thought as he tossed her chains aside. 

Nevertheless, when he looked at Kagome, his spirit settled, ever so slightly. She needed sleep badly, but she needed treatment more. The more tranquil side of him that had been growing these past weeks began to make its presence felt. 

He slipped his hand under Kagome's collar, feeling her soft skin underneath. He gradually began to slide the kimono down past her shoulder. 

Kagome came out of her daze slightly, her eyes widening as both of her hands latched around his wrist. "No!" The quick exclamation caused her a wince of pain. 

He kept his hand still, trying not to agitate her injuries. "Kagome, I am only going to take care of your injuries." 

"No..." she repeated softly, her grip loosening. "I'm fine. What do you care, anyway?"

Sesshoumaru chose to ignore her question. "Now is not the time to be concerned with your modesty. If you do not willingly allow me to do this, it will be worse for you."

Kagome released his hand and looked down at her lap. Sesshoumaru pushed the silk past her shoulder as Kagome pulled her arms from the sleeves. Her garment fell into a white puddle around her waist. 

She gasped painfully at the sight of herself. She couldn't see what her bra covered, but everything else looked bad. Her chest and abdomen were a mosaic of bruises. She was more black and blue than anything else, and if she was already this bad, she hated to imagine what her skin would look like in the morning. 

"You have to help," Sesshoumaru told her. He pressed the end of a long bandage against her ribs. "Hold this." She moved her hand to where he indicated. "Breath out slightly and hold it if you can." 

Sesshoumaru passed the cloth around her a few times until it was tight enough for her to let go. She moved her hands to rest on his shoulders as she watched his hand disappear behind her, release the bandage, and dart around to the other side of her body to catch it again without losing any of the tension. It was an awkward task with one hand, but he completed it gracefully. She found herself mesmerized by his movements. 

"It's kind of tight," she murmured. 

"It's supposed to be. It will keep your ribs from moving more than they must." 

She blinked up at him. "You've done this before?" 

He sniffed indignantly. "It's just common sense."

She smiled slightly, hidden by her hair. Sesshoumaru tucked away the end of the bandage, looking up at her tiredly bowed head. 

Two fingers slipped underneath her chin, lifting her face to him. She met his gaze unflinchingly, her dark eyes stormy. She smiled at him sadly... almost forgivingly. He tilted her head to each side, looking at her shoulders. 

"Your wounds did not bleed much," he observed softly. 

"Good, more for you," she said automatically. He froze at her barb, even though he had been thinking along similar lines. "Sorry..." she mumbled. 

He finished cleaning her shoulders in silence. The sun was setting, the sky overcast and dark. Eventually he lit the lamp, more for her benefit than his. 

"How long will this take to heal?" he asked. 

She sighed slightly. "Too long. It will probably weeks or months until I'm back to normal. I've heard bruised ribs are bad."

'Months?' She would be in pain for so long?

Kagome pouted at his silence. "So I'm human. There's nothing I can do about it. Maybe I'm weaker than you, but I do the best I can. You probably wouldn't even care if I died, as long as your experiment was ok." She defiantly met his eyes. 

He glared back at her. "Do you not remember what I told you when I first brought you here?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I said that if you cooperated..."

"You wouldn't kill me."

He held her chin so that she couldn't turn away from him. "... that you would live." 

Kagome stared up at him silently, at a momentary loss. Everything else may have changed, but he had not touched the luminance in her eyes. "In the end... what's the difference?" 

It was Sesshoumaru's turn to hesitate. Fortunately, Kagome merely sighed and leaned in against him to his surprise. 

"It's ok, Sesshoumaru. I understand. Thank you for taking care of my ribs, it feels much better now." She cuddled against his left side, trying to find the least painful position. She wasn't really bothered by his missing arm. She merely lifted her arm to him, waiting until he took it. 

"Just remember," she said. "I told you I wanted to help and I meant it. I believe this will work, and we'll both see the end of this."

He was awestruck. "Why?"

Her deep eyes stared back at him. "For you. For Inuyasha. For me." She looked up at the walls. "Our twenty-second night... please be quick, Sesshoumaru."

He cut her swiftly, with more care than he ever had before. He was determined to get this over with quickly. Even so, she fell asleep against him before he finished. He let her rest against him for a while, his mind in a million places at once. Eventually, he laid her back down. She whimpered sweetly when her back touched her bed. He knelt beside her, stroking her hair to lie on her pillow like a fan around her face. 

He leaned close to her mouth, listening to her breathe. It was stronger than before, but still rasped slightly as if there was something that wasn't right. 

"Sesshoumaru?" 

He almost jumped at the sound of her whisper-soft voice. "You should be asleep."

"Did you mean what you said earlier?"

"Do you doubt this Sesshoumaru's word?"

She smiled softly, drifting into a heavy sleep. 

He already had enough on his mind. Now he had to deal with her damn smile. He saw it long after he had gone. 

* * *

Sesshoumaru did not feel the chill of the midnight winds. The weather was changing; perhaps the dark skies would finally bring some much-needed rain. 

He had stayed with Kagome long after she had fallen asleep. She had been so still and quiet. So unlike herself. Usually she curled up on her side and made little noises and faces in her sleep. He was slightly startled that he even knew how she usually slept. He had gazed at her for a long while, his hand resting lightly on her abdomen as he monitored her breathing. She was so soft a thing, beautiful and pure to a treacherous extreme. Her skin was almost deathly pale, more so with her hair glistening around her like wet ink. So subtly powerful. So dangerously fragile. 

The wind howled eerily through the trees, much in keeping with his mood. Only creatures who had no fear of dark and cold were out on this night, leaving Sesshoumaru alone with the trees. 

"Bokusenou," he hailed in a steady voice. 

The familiar face melted out of the ancient bark, revealing eyes shining with something that might have been humor or might have been sadness. 

"Good evening, Sesshoumaru. It is not yet the end of the month, but I am not surprised to see you." 

Sesshoumaru pressed his lips together in irritation. The old tree saw too damn much. 

The face in the tree cast an appraising gaze over Sesshoumaru's ivory form. "Things are going well for you, as I see. Her magic is working within you, with far more energy than even I would have suspected from her. You feel it too?" 

Sesshoumaru stood stonily still. "I have. It weaves through my left side and is building in strength, especially where it will heal. It is... a strange sensation. But I did not wish to speak of that." 

"What is your problem, then, Inu-no-Taisho? In a few days you will have everything you have worked for."

Sesshoumaru was inexplicably unnerved by Bokusenou's words. "Do you know of any other ways to regenerate a wound such as mine? You kept this from me; it is probable that you know of other ways. Tell me." 

Bokusenou half-closed his eyes tiredly. "Yes, I did not tell you about the blood of a healer. But I have guided you as best I could since you have discovered it. There is no other way than this, Sesshoumaru." 

Sesshoumaru silently contemplated his words.

"Yet why do you search for such a path? You already have found your solution... or perhaps you are finding it more difficult than you originally believed." 

Sesshoumaru ignored his words, looking moodily past him. "You made a warning when I started. What did you mean?" 

Bokusenou sighed. "If you passed another dying on the roadside, what would you do, Sesshoumaru?"

"It is none of my concern," he answered swiftly. "What has that to do with anything?" 

"And who or what is your concern, then?" 

"None are worthy of my concern unless it pleases me to give it."

"It is the very thing that has trapped you that makes you blind, Inu-no-Taisho." 

Sesshoumaru tensed and put his hand on Toukijin's hilt. "Explain your insult."

"Your pride. Your apathy. You assumed that your strength and power would justify your actions. You believed that you would not care about the miko you imprisoned. You have never chosen another over yourself, and you refuse to let go for the sake of your ego."

Sesshoumaru bared his fangs, wanting to chop the demon into splinters for his insolence. "How dare you," he answered in a dangerously low tone. 

"Why are you angry, Sesshoumaru? I have only told you the truth, and you know it." 

For some reason, every word Bokusenou said made him angrier. 

"We both know, even if you refuse to admit it, the real reason that you're here tonight. The miko is dying." 

"No!" he immediately denied. 

"Words do not change the fact. The girl's life is quickly running out. You are here because you don't want her to die. Because you care for her."

"Do not speak of things you do not understand," Sesshoumaru snapped. He calmed, trying not to let his uncertainty surface in his mind or words. "The remedy will continue, and she only must last six more nights. I will come here in one week, whole. Compared to restoring this Sesshoumaru, her pain is an acceptable price." 

Bokusenou frowned at him before sinking back into obscurity un-excused. "I hope you're lying, Inu-no-Taisho," his voice echoed. "For her sake and yours."

Sesshoumaru glared at the now silent withered bark. The howling wind and rushing trees screamed in his ears. The whole world seemed to mock him. 

  
  
  
  


* * *

* * *

Wow, I've managed to update three weeks in a row. This story is finally starting to come a little easier. You guys have been really awesome, as always, at giving me feedback. Thanks a bunch. Your reviews keep me going. 

There was a question about Kagome's time of the month. True, he does have her for a full month, but you can assume that her body is going through enough physical stress that it won't come up. At least for the convenience of this story. 

Three chapters left. Mwa ha ha ha ha. And I mean that in a totally innocent way. (Shame you can't actually hear my maniacal laugh. I actually have a pretty good one when I'm in the mood.)

-Aiwendil

  
  


_This chapter last modified: Tuesday, October 28, 2003 _


	8. Fall Away

**Chapter 8: Fall Away**

He was wet, he was cold, and there was no end to his search in sight. The weeks had seemed like centuries as Inuyasha followed up empty leads. He had not found any sign of Sesshoumaru or Kagome since his brother had left him wounded days ago. He had not seen Miroku and Sango for days; they had only rendezvoused briefly to check each other's progress. 

He had swallowed his pride and gone to Kouga for help. Humbling himself before that arrogant jerk would be justified if he found Kagome. He endured the wolf's angry rants, not denying a word of it. He should have saved her. He shouldn't have given her up so easily. He should have found her by now. 

But Kouga's search net of wolves had been no more successful. 

As the days dragged on he could only wearily continue, trudging on through the dismal weather and wishing she were by his side. He preyed that she was safe, but was almost certain she was not. It burned at his mind that he did not even know Sesshoumaru's purpose. He feared he would not see her again. 

It was the way the world worked. There was no room in this time for compassion. She was too dear to him, and those who were close to a hanyou always paid the price. 

  


* * *

The broken shards of metal clanged onto the stone bench in front of the rat-like youkai. Sesshoumaru waited in silent frustration as Inken bent to examine them. 

"They're broken," he observed curiously. 

"Obviously," Sesshoumaru snapped. "Perhaps you can tell me why." 

Inken shook his head in wonder. "They should not have been breakable, by strength of body or spirit. Not unless the wearer wielded outrageous power." He picked them up, sniffing at the shards with a dazed look in his eye and a greasy half-smile. "This has never happened before. To so easily shatter the magic and the metal..."

"Your failure has been bothersome. You assured me that these would suit my purpose."

Inken remained in his dazed little world. "A miko..." he mumbled at the feel of the lingering magic. "I've never felt such strength, though. She smells human... but there is something else." He turned to Sesshoumaru. "Give me another chance, Sesshoumaru-sama. It will take some time, but I will devise a way to hold this woman." He licked his lips slightly, finding the project unusually alluring. 

"I'm not interested. I will get rid of her soon. Until then, I think I would be better off without your inferior tools." He had come here for an explanation, but this road gave him as little satisfaction as any of the others. 

"You no longer want her?" Inken blurted. "What do you intend to do with her?" 

Sesshoumaru only gave him a sharp look. 

"Give her to me, Sesshoumaru-sama! It would be such a waste to destroy something like this. Ah... a miko of such great power... what I would do to her..." The old youkai's eyes were far away and unfocused as his mouth twitched slightly. "Her scent is perfect. She is so beautiful, I have never seen a human like her. Her skin is so white and delicate. Her hair shines like obsidian--and her eyes gleam like the flare of a knife from a sheath."

Sesshoumaru tensed in realization. "You've seen her." 

"Ah... just once. A spell of sight, to see what my spells were binding. I thought then that she could not have felt it, but perhaps she knew after all. She is a rare thing. More precious than any of the gems I have ever seen. Please give her to me, Sesshoumaru-sama. I would bind her in the most precious metals, with power and luster to rival her." His finger's twitched at his thoughts, his tongue running over his lips again. "I would make her shine only for me... I would make such spells to hold her power and beauty... hold her to me. In exchange for such a thing, I will make whatever you chose, whatever you may need in the future." 

Sesshoumaru's thoughts strayed with his words, into a very dark place. The cave seemed to fade, sounds blurring in his ears as his vision blackened. 

The sound of tearing flesh pulled him from his lapse. A dangerous growl filled his ears. He had an overpowering urge to fight, his youki surging with his anger. He belatedly realized that the growl was coming from his own throat, and that there was fresh blood in the air. And on his hand. His irrational rage dimmed slightly with his surprise. It was then that he noticed Inken bleeding against the wall. His throat had been torn out, the spray of blood speckling the wall behind him. The youkai's red eyes were confused for a moment, then began to fade. 

Sesshoumaru flicked the blood from his claws, bringing his raging blood under control. "Do not presume to gain what I, Sesshoumaru possess." 

With those words, he turned and left. He had not come with any such intention, but the rat had deserved it. Unfortunately, the bloodshed had done nothing to ease his frustrations. Now he only had more doubts. 

* * *

Sesshoumaru stalked through the chilled early-afternoon rain, welcoming the cold downpour as it washed the traces of blood from him. He was intent on seeing Kagome immediately. Something about Inken's words had filled him with uncertainty. He refused to analyze his actions, afraid of what he might find lurking in his psyche.

In the few days since Kagome's attack, her condition had changed little. He knew her chest gave her a great deal of pain, though as a general rule, she did not speak of it. Yet she had shown little signs of any healing thus far. Much to Sesshoumaru's disappointment, even her pain did not cure her of her restlessness. Uncharacteristically despondent since she was locked away again, she had resumed her drawing and writing. He had ordered her to her bed, but he could see from the ever-evolving walls that she only obeyed him to the extent she wished when he was out of the room. 

It relieved him only slightly when he came into sight of the hillside and felt the fringes of Kagome's power. He was pleased to slash to bits the mindless low-level youkai stalking and growling near her door. Two sides of him battled, the newer calmness and warmth was overwhelmed by his frustration. 

He stepped through the heavy door, and the slamming din of the rain dimmed to a gentle rumble. The air was cool and moist even inside, water dripping steadily from the small window Kagome was so fond of. 

He immediately saw Kagome was not in her bed. The second thing he noticed was that there was nothing new on the walls. She had not even marked the previous night on her calendar. He cast his molten eyes about searching for her. 

That cold feeling that had been growing all morning suddenly roared up and swallowed him, cutting off his breath. Kagome was crumpled on the ground next to the western wall. Her ink-black waves were spilled across the floor and her limbs were uncomfortably positioned and tangled in her white kimono, as if she simply had fallen and had not moved. 

He was at her side in a heartbeat, the last of his breath gone with the whisper of her name. He cursed the rain; he could hear neither her breath nor her heartbeat. He laid his hand against her soft cheek, feeling the warmth of life still within her. If anything, her skin was much warmer than it should be. It was then the scent hit him. It was overwhelming, more so because it was Kagome it was clinging to. The scent of illness came from her in waves. 

He lifted her against him--not a difficult task, but to preform it gently with only one hand was significantly harder. He could not avoid jostling her wounds, but it disturbed him more when she did not react at all. He would have welcomed cries of pain, if only to show some life from her. He carried her to the bed, which he had at least had the foresight to move into the warmest corner. He arrayed her feverish body on it, covering her with the furs he had brought her. 

She had gotten damp lying on the floor. He noticed now that her food from that morning had not been touched at all. It was already mid-afternoon. She could have been lying on that cold floor for hours before he came in. He made a vicious mental note to kill Jaken. At the very least the toad should have noticed something. Of course... by the same token, he should have also. She had been in poor condition, but for her to get so bad so quickly... it did not bode well. 

He propped her up against him, coaxing water down her throat. Her blazing heat sank into him. Her eyelashes fluttered slightly but did not open. He stroked her cheek softly, whispering her name a few times in hopes of seeing her stir. 

The tension was a volatile mass within him. He seethed silently, enraged about everything and nothing at once. He was disgusted by her weakness, and he was disgusted at himself for caring at all. 

But he could not turn away. 

She curled into him slightly, suddenly shivering. He wrapped his arm around her and pressed her as close as he could. She coughed slightly, her hands fisting in his clothes. Gradually her coughs grew worse until her hole body tossed in his arms. He held her as tightly as he dared, knowing there was nothing to do but wait for her to stop. He ran his hand soothingly over her back as she finally stilled again. 

He knew woefully little about human illness. He did understand, however, that Kagome had been very weak before this illness had overcome her. As much as his heart fought the idea, he knew it was unlikely she had strength enough in her small body to combat this. 

* * *

Kagome wandered through heavy and confusing dreams. Her mind seemed only to be half-working, as if something was wrong but she was unable to see what. She heard voices. Speaking to her? She forced herself from her unrestful slumber, groaning heavily as the pain of the waking world returned to her. She considered opening her eyes, but decided it simply would be too much work. Her eyelids were heavy and sticky, as if tears had dried there. 

"Miss?" A soft unfamiliar voice tickled her ears. 

Gradually she came to the conclusion that she was still in the room Sesshoumaru kept her in, but he could not place the voice no matter how she tried. A cool hand on her forehead startled her. 

She forced her eyes open with a soft moan, blinking at the face in front of her. He was elderly, his face tired and frightened. His clothing suggested he had come from some village. 

She shrank away from him, suddenly confused. "Sesshoumaru?" She whispered hoarsely. 

"Here," his low voice rumbled from behind the other man. She saw him now, leaning against the wall with both piercing eyes on her. "Relax, Kagome." It registered, even as she was, that he sounded very irritable.

She did as he ordered, sinking heavily back into her bed. She didn't remember exactly what had happened, but she felt horrible now. She wouldn't worry as long as Sesshoumaru was here watching over her. 

The strange man was taking her pulse. Kagome noticed his hand was shaking as he held her wrist. A doctor, she surmised. 

"It is very good to see you awake, Miss," he said shakily. 

"Kagome," she said heavily. 

"Of course... Kagome-sama, how long have you been sick?" 

Kagome scrunched her eyebrows, not even certain what time or day it was. "Started yesterday. I think." 

He frowned, leaning down closer to her. There was a quick sharp growl from behind him, causing him to jerk himself back upright and looking back at the glaring demon with wide frightened eyes. 

"I only wished to listen to her breathing!" He said quickly. 

Sesshoumaru did not move, merely staring contemptuously at the man. 

Eventually the doctor turned back to Kagome, listening carefully in case Sesshoumaru made any objections. Slowly he pressed his ear against her above her breast, listening as the air moved through her lungs. 

Kagome reached out and took his shaking hand, beginning to understand the situation. Sesshoumaru had probably just yanked the man from some village. Knowing him, he had probably made several clear and descriptive threats about what would happen should he decline or fail. 

Kagome spoke to him softly, though her eyes were fixed on Sesshoumaru. "Don't worry, Sensei. Thank you for coming to help me, I am sure you will find a way. But I would be very sad if anything happened to you."

The doctor looked at her in confusion, but Sesshoumaru gave her a narrowed gaze, telling her he had understood the message. He didn't look happy about it, which Kagome took to mean that he had given up any intentions of hurting the man. 

She laid back, her whole body aching and tired. The pain was strangely distant, as if her mind were somewhere other than her body. Her eyes refused to focus correctly and everything was hazy around the edges. Satisfied that Sesshoumaru would not do anything harmful, she let her eyes drift closed again as the doctor finished his examination. She was already asleep again when he poured a bitter solution down her throat. 

Sesshoumaru met the man with a hard glare as he finally turned away from Kagome with a defeated sigh. 

"I have done all I can do, Lord." The man trembled nervously under the demon's scrutiny. 

Sesshoumaru merely beckoned for the man to follow him back outside. The rain had slowed to a gentle shower, though it was still quite cold. 

"What is wrong with her?" he asked without prelude. 

The human sighed. "Her symptoms are those of many common illnesses, but for her to become so ill so quickly is discouraging." He turned his head away from Sesshoumaru's eyes. "She is still young. But it seems she was wounded and weak before this illness claimed her. Her body seems to have no strength left to fight." He shivered from the rain, determined to stand bravely in the presence of this taiyoukai. 

"How can she be cured?" 

"There is little to be done. The fever must be broken. She must be kept warm and she should take water frequently." 

"That's all?" Sesshoumaru frowned. "How long will it take for her to recover?" 

The doctor took a deep breath, hoping the demon lord would not choose to harm him for his inability to do more for her. "I fear that this illness is advancing to rapidly. Unless she finds some reserve of strength, she may die." 

Sesshoumaru's claws snapped like a spring-loaded trap around the man's neck, his temper only barely in check. "That is not acceptable." 

The smaller man grasped at Sesshoumaru's hand. "I have done all I can!" he struggled to say. 

Sesshoumaru squeezed slightly, his eyes burning in anger. For a moment, the man was certain he was dead, but without warning Sesshoumaru simply dropped him. His body fell to the wet earth with a muffled thud. 

The man looked up through the scattered droplets at the statuesque youkai, still gasping for breath. "I am sorry," he admitted. "If nothing else, for the sake of the young woman. She seems to be of a rare type, one of beauty and kindness." He was tactful enough not to remark on the obvious fact that Sesshoumaru was holding her captive. He suspected the demon was to blame for her weakness and injury, and his heart reached out to the young girl. Yet he saw that there was more between captor and captive than could be understood. 

Then the man had the strange honor of seeing something that no other living being ever had. Sesshoumaru's head bowed. His chin fell only a fraction of an inch, barely perceptible to the human eye. His cold eyes softened if only for the briefest moments as the rain fell in drops of crystal from his immaculate hair. 

The steady drumming of rain was the only sound. Water rolled off Sesshoumaru's immaculate white form like beads of pearl, though his clothes and hair never really seemed to absorb the moisture. Nothing in this world seemed to reach him, he was untouchable, immortal, god-like. If only for a moment, though, he felt a heavy weight pressing down on him. 

"You may leave," he dismissed the man still staring up in awe from the muddy ground. "My animal will guide you back." He summoned Ah-Un, turning away from the man without a further look. 

* * *

Sesshoumaru returned to Kagome, his steps falling soundlessly on the bare floor. The room was dark, and for a moment it fell oppressively on him and he pitied the girl anew. 

Of all the harm he had caused her, keeping her forever locked in the dark was the worst. 

He sat near her, re-tucking the blankets she had thrown off in her fevered sleep. The backs of his fingers ran delicately down her flushed cheeks. Her long eyelashes fluttered like moth wings against her skin, but she made no other response. Her sleep was not so profoundly deep this time, he thought he could wake her if the need arose. 

He listened to her breath, hearing easily what had so unnerved the doctor. Each breath sounded weak and painful, almost buzzing as it passed through her abused lungs. He passed the rest of the cold day at her side, examining the writing on the walls. She had woven her flowers through the links of the chains on the wall, where they dried but still held some of their color. The scent of rain-kissed fall blossoms fell through her small window. She woke a few times, looked at him as if confirming his continued presence, and then would drift again. 

He took care of her as best he could. He turned away when she started coughing, unable to bear the sight of her painful convulsions. For the first time in his life, he felt helpless. He dreaded the coming of night. 

* * *

She woke to discover the dark of night, though Sesshoumaru had lit a lamp for her. Sesshoumaru sat on the edge of her bed, his face still and blank. He was apparently deep in thought. 

She reached out for him slightly, finding the movement very difficult. "Sess-" she whispered, but it only came out as a muddled gurgle. She winced. 

He snapped his head to her, quickly whisking his hand behind her as she tried to raise herself from the bed. "You should not move," he said distantly. He lowered her back down, but she feebly clung at his arm, unwilling to let go. 

"Please," she whispered. "Please stay with me." She sniffed slightly. She was frightened by the dark, by the cold. Her illness scared her, she wanted to be home with her mother more than anything. But more than all of these, he was deathly afraid that he would leave her. 

Something softened in his metal gaze as tears began to well up in her clouded eyes.

"I know you probably think I'm weak, but I don't care anymore, Sesshoumaru." The first of her tears spilled over. "I am afraid." 

Something within him ached. Saying nothing, he gently pulled her onto his lap, gathering blankets over her when he had settled her. She sank into him, her tears fading as he held her. It would be their twenty-fourth night of this intimate exchange. Even he could not deny the tenuous companionship that had grown between them. 

He stroked her hair as she pressed against his chest for warmth. The more logical part of his mind pointed out that he should not allow this pathetic creature so close. Too easily was he forgetting the roles he had assigned them both in this little game. He was letting himself get far to attached. 

He knew what he had to do. It was necessary that he consume her blood tonight, whether she was sick or not. But he knew... she wasn't simply sick. She was dying. He could deny it no longer. 

"The doctor ok?" Kagome mumbled. Her breathing hitched on every whisper. 

"Yes," he answered easily. 

"Good. What'd he say about me?" 

Sesshoumaru ran his fingers slowly through her shadowy hair. "That you were sick," he said blandly. 

He felt her smile slightly against his chest. "I knew he was good," she said. She turned into him sleepily, shivering despite his heat and her fever. "You're cool... it feels nice..." He felt her burning hand reach up and brush against his cheek before falling limply at his neck. "I can't stay awake anymore." Her voice was almost soft beyond hearing. "I'm sorry. I think my power will control itself even if I sleep. Will you just wait until I go?" Her fingers gripped his silk clothing in weak half-claws. "I don't want to feel anymore pain tonight..." 

"Sleep," he said softly. 

"Thank you," she breathed as she went limp in his hold. 

He looked at her arm, resting where she had deliberately left it. Kagome's fever burned through him as her breath reached a dangerously low rate. 

She had lost far too much blood over the past days, he knew. She was hanging on by a thread, her will binding her to the living world as her body slowly betrayed her. He held her small body tighter, as if he was afraid she would slip through his grasp like water. She had given him all she had within her; there was nothing left to heal herself. 

If he harmed her tonight, something told him she would not recover. If he carried out his plan, she--Kagome--would almost certainly die. 

She sighed slightly in her slumber, and he felt the flames of anger building inside him. He damned her for making him feel this way. He damned Bokusenou for spreading her poison in his mind. He damned his brother for cutting off the arm in the first place. He damned himself for falling victim to it all. 

He would not fall to this human girl. He would not sacrifice his dignity for anyone, least of all someone like her. This was simply another battle, another vendetta to be satisfied. And he would be the one to emerge victorious. 

  
  


Ignoring the painful twist in his heart, he resolutely lifted her flesh against lips. He let his youki rise, encouraging the need to taste her blood. If this was what it took, so be it. The end was only days away.

He tasted the lingering traces of blood on her skin, losing himself further. He would not be stopped. 

Some things, he reflected, simply had to be done.

His fangs closed on her pale skin.

His eyes shut in what could have been defeat or relief, but he was as unreadable as always.

His choice was made, but still peace and chaos battled in his mind, giving him no relief. He whispered to her and to himself that he had done what was necessary, even as his mind continued to rage. 

His heart would not be comforted. 

  
  


  
  


* * *

* * *

Well, it was a struggle, but I got the chapter out since you were all waiting so patiently... or not, as the case may be. I'm kinda picky about this section in the story, and to tell the truth I'd like to have had more feedback first. But hey, that's what you fine peoples are for. 

Why the chapter title? Because "Until I Fall Away" is the song I listen to in order to get into the mood to write this, and I couldn't think of another. Sad song; for some reason the opening riff always makes me cry. MtaE's unofficial soundtrack was "Morning Afterglow" by electrasy, if you want to know. (Hey, I've been on this site for months now, and this is my first electrasy plug. Can't believe it took that long.) 

I'm reallllly busy right now, so... Well, you know what that means. Thanks for the great reviews, as always. Please keep them coming. 

Aiwendil

  
  


_This chapter last modified: Tuesday, November 11, 2003_


	9. In the Dark

**Chapter 9: In the Dark **

Sesshoumaru was by Kagome's side when dawn broke on the twenty-fifth day. He had nursed her with uncertain hands, trying to ease her fever. As much as he resented himself for it, he was worried for her. She was, all other things aside, only a young human girl. He regretted her pain, even if he was not sure if he regretted his actions. He had made an error in his choice; she was perhaps the most powerful he had found, but she was too easy to like. 

He was more relieved then he would ever admit when Kagome woke in the morning. She blinked up at him hazily, not at all surprised to see him there. Her coloring was still poor, her breathing weak. 

"Good morning,"she said groggily. 

"Good morning," he answered evenly. "How do you feel?" He had felt her temperature as she slept. Her fever had actually fallen over the night, though it continued to linger. 

"Alright," she mumbled. 

He was right, she was a horrible liar.

She closed her eyes between phrases, as if they required a rest. "Are you okay?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean?"

Kagome raised her hand, resting the tips of her fevered fingers against the markings on his cheek, earnestly examining his eyes. "You look preoccupied... as if you're worried you might lose something important."

He gently grasped her wrist, guiding it down to lie softly on her coverings. "No," he answered her. "I am disappointed because I may already have lost something important." 

She took his hand, trying to reassure him. Something had happened to him that she couldn't place. Undercurrents of anger seeped from him, but she could not tell if his dissatisfaction was directed at her. "I've done my best..." she said quietly. Her voice was weak and sick, and she to keep her words from hurting her chest. "Things will work out." 

He squeezed her hand in silent dissent. She was his victim. She had the luxury of single-mindedness; all the decisions were in his hands. Even her life was within his grasp alone. He did not understand her pure faith, but desired to feel some of her peace. 

He helped her sit up, patiently helping her down more medicine and forced her to eat something. She still needed her strength for a few more nights before he could be rid of her. 

There was something changed between them. There was nothing left to be said. Both had chosen their course and were driven to hold to it. They had only to wait. 

And on these last cold days, with Kagome's life lingering by a thread, Sesshoumaru resolved himself. 

He would wait out their doom next to her. 

* * *

The last days of Kagome's captivity passed quietly. Her illness neither worsened nor improved, but seemed to hang over them like the dark clouds that obscured their view of the fading moon. 

Sesshoumaru was a puzzle to her. He had diligently tended to her since she had fallen ill, becoming both closer and more distant. Wordlessly he accepted her closeness, treating her gently and considerately. Still, his eyes never seemed acknowledge her, even if he found more opportunity to linger near her. Even if he was quiet, she could recognize the tension in him, silent anger simmering just beneath his blank exterior. Yet whenever she persuaded him to meet her eyes, he seemed to soften slightly. It was in those short moments that he almost seemed... sad. 

And so the darkest night crept over them like a nightmare. Kagome's nocturnal calender surrounded them, the charcoal moons bleeding from the cold walls like inky shadows. The yellow light of the lamp could not seem to warm the room, flickering timidly as if it also was afraid of the dark. 

The only thing untouched by the dark and the cold was Kagome's will. She could not help herself. Her hope that this darkness might signal an end to it all overcame all else. It could end. No more pain, no more loneliness. 

Her hopeful smile, in spite of her weakness, was rescinded by Sesshoumaru's dark scowl. She had risen when he entered, even dared to embrace him quickly before he frowned at her and pressed her gently back to her bed. 

"You should have more sense," he admonished, somewhat more harshly than necessary. "I told you to stay in bed." 

"I know," she said as cheerily as she was able, "but what does it matter tonight?" She smiled slightly at him, no longer intimidated by his unapproachability. "It will all be over soon. You'll have everything you want, and you can let me go. Right?" 

Sesshoumaru let out a slow breath but did not answer her. 

Kagome faltered slightly at his inaction. "Sesshoumaru? Are you alright?" 

He declined to answer, but held her eyes as he settled her down in the bed. An uncomfortable gnawing was eating away at him from the inside. 

Her eyes slowly brushed closed as he sliced into her pale skin one more time. Her breaths were slow and even, though they carried the rasp of her abused body. He watched, transfixed, as a drop of her dark blood beaded on the edge of her cut, glistening like a black pearl. He bowed and tasted her, her illness, her loyalty, her oddity, her purity, her fear, her hope. And the warmth of her power. The essence of everything that made up this strange beautiful creature, spilled for him to taste. He drank as a man setting out into the desert, leaving behind the last oasis. 

Her fingers combed through his long shining hair as the girl looked at with those reflective dark eyes. "I'm glad, Sesshoumaru." Her voice was like a wind chime in the dark. "I'm glad, in spite of it all, that I'm here to help you. I'm sorry you were hurt. I've wanted... since I've understood all of this... to heal you." 

His breath caught and he almost pulled away. Instead, he brushed his hand over her face, closing her eyelids in a silent order. She frowned, but obeyed. 

The fear that had built in him was realized as he finally finished and pulled away from her. It washed over him like a cold wave. He did not know what else to do, he yanked her against him, holding her trapped tightly against him with her face buried in his chest. 

His body stiffened, his breath stopped, but still he held to her tightly. 

Kagome struggled against him, startled by the quick change in him. A small trickle of blood seeped from the open wound on her arm. "Sesshoumaru? Let me go." 

He grunted slightly, but his grip only tightened. She was worried and she couldn't see what was happening. Was the transformation hurting him? 

"Sesshoumaru! Please let go!" She tried to pull away again, but even holding her with one hand, her strength was nothing to his. "You're hurting me!" she gasped. 

His grip relaxed some, his breathing returning to normal. He moved his hand to hold her head down against him. His behavior was scaring her, and still he wouldn't speak. 

"Sesshoumaru... please, let me see," she begged, slightly muffled. 

He didn't want to let her see. It would be the end of everything. He couldn't do that to her. 

"Please...," she begged. 

"Please..."

He rescinded slowly, allowing her slowly to pull away from him. Her brown eyes sparkled as she searched for the source of his torment, flickering over his left side. 

She took him in with wide and confused eyes. "I don't understand..." 

He looked at her blankly, no comfort to offer her as the beginnings of tears welled in her eyes. 

She reached for his right sleeve, hesitantly closing her fingers around the empty silk. As if being controlled by another will, her hand slid up his sleeve, finally meeting the bare end of his arm, ending midway through his upper arm. "I don't understand," she repeated weakly. 

She glance up at him, hoping for an answer but finding only his blank stare. "It... it didn't work?" Her bottom lip quivered as the reality of it seeped into her. His silence was the only response she received. "It didn't work..." 

She grasped his hand in both of hers, clinging to it desperately. "Maybe... maybe it takes time. Maybe it will be back by morning." Her voice quivered on the edge of anguish as the world seemed to darken. 

"Kagome..." he spoke finally, his voice sorrowful. "No."

That one word, and it all crumbled to pieces. She fell into him, sobs shaking her body. Each seemed to rip through her, her pain feeding her sorrow. "I don't understand! I tried! I thought that I could do it... I tried so hard to heal you. What did I do wrong?"

He held her uncomfortably as she cried, knowing the answer but unwilling to tell her. 

"I worked so hard. I was so sure I could do it! I'm too weak, I've failed! It was all for nothing."

He wanted to reassure her, but was certain the truth would only bring him more pain. He had feared, for several nights now, this outcome. Deeper, he felt the loss of her light these past few days and already knew that all hope for success had died. Still, he had dared to hope and finish out the month. But the light had not returned to linger again. 

Her weakness was not to be blamed, but his own. He had already condemned them both, and the memory of his fault haunted him. 

.

.

.

_ Ignoring the painful twist in his heart, he resolutely lifted her flesh against lips. He let his youki rise, encouraging the need to taste her blood. If this was what it took, so be it. The end was only days away. _

He tasted the lingering traces of blood on her skin, losing himself further. He would not be stopped. 

Some things, he reflected, simply had to be done. 

His fangs closed on her pale skin. 

His eyes shut in what could have been defeat or relief, but he was as unreadable as always. 

  
  


Sharp ivory fangs were pressed tightly against her, yet had not broken the skin. 

He willed himself to slash her, but his body did not want to obey. 

She was too fragile. Any more of this torture would kill her, strong will or no. That calm feeling her healing left lingering in his blood chased away the demonic bloodlust he had been encouraging. 

Still, he had to do this. She had even offered herself to him. If he did not continue, all her suffering, all his efforts, would be in vain. To break the ritual with only a few nights left would be worse in the end. All she had to do was last a few nights longer. 

Whatever he did now, he would betray her. In the worst case, there was the distant possibility of resurrection, but it would not bring redemption. If she died, his promise was broken. But she had invested herself in this goal now, and he had seen the determination shining in her eyes. If he surrendered and spared her, all she hoped for would be denied. He would not heal. But his pride would not let his only chance go. If he let her go tonight and the experiment failed, he would force another trial. 

She was lost to him. 

He had done unforgivable things to her. Her body was dying, her spirit only tenuously clinging to hope. He could see at last the truth. Her destruction was unavoidable. All that remained was which he would break first: her body or her soul. 

It would be kinder, he decided, not to doom her to further torture. The rite had to be continued. 

Yet still he could not cut her. 

Eventually, he removed his fangs from her flesh, looking down at her in apology. He could not make her bleed tonight, no matter the cost. He couldn't kill her, not even to save her from more pain. Not even for himself. In the end, perhaps he was the weaker after all. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered to her sleeping face. He softly smoothed her sleeve until it slipped past her hand. His decision was made now, for good or for ill. He clung to her tightly, in shame and in fear for her. Bokusenou had been right. He had imprisoned her, tortured her, and broken her. The porcelain angel in his hold was on the brink of death, and the pain of knowing he was her murderer was worse than any battle wound he had ever experienced. 

He reverently replaced her in her bed, watching as she slept on in innocence. She made him feel far to much, and he wanted so badly to hate her for it. Her innocence and strange spirit held an odd power over him. She had enchanted him, to the downfall of them both. 

He watched her for a moment, wishing he was seeing her in a different time and place, where perhaps he was not her tormenter and she was not his victim. If he had not been so short sighted, it might have been so. 

  
  


His choice was made, but still peace and chaos battled in his mind, giving him no relief. He whispered to her and to himself that he had done what was necessary, even as his mind continued to rage. 

His heart would not be comforted. 

.

.

.

Kagome still cried against him, tormented by the ramifications of her defeat. He could not find the words to speak to her. Feeling lower than he had ever in his life, he pried her from him and left the room. 

He fled her, disgusted that he could not find the will to face her. The door closed behind him, locking the broken girl in her dark prison. 

He had ended every hope. All that was left was to decide:

What happens now?

  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

* * *

It's a short chapter for a two-week absence, I know. Sorry, but that's just the way it worked out.

About Tenseiga: yes, it's still there, and no, he hasn't forgotten about it. For some reason I thought 'Hey, I'll discuss it in the last chapter,' for which I'm sure I had a very good reason, though I can't remember what it was...

Anyway, there are no guarantees that Tenseiga would work, and she would still have to die in order for him to use it, which would break his promise. 

I just have to say how much fun I've had reading your reviews-- some of you had some interesting theories on how things would/should turn out. And then there were the few of you that caught on to the ambiguity in the previous chapter. Kudos. It's been driving me crazy, trying to keep my mouth shut about the plot line. 

Well, there's only one chapter left, which I am meticulously editing. Also, Raichu will be writing another alternate ending, and I can deny the furry little thing nothing. She's my mouse, after all. 

I wish all you Yanks out there a happy Thanksgiving. 

  
  


Please Review, 

Aiwe

  
  


_This chapter last modified: Tuesday, November 25, 2003_


	10. Cursed

**Some quick introductory notes:** Firstly, I apologize to anybody who got weird messages from Raichu. I can't do a thing with her. Secondly, thanks to Patches for pointing out my mistake last chapter, which I swear I'll get around to fixing.

The promised 'alternate ending' is at the end of the chapter, in all its questionable glory. Credit also goes to Raichu for suggesting the actual ending.

Thanks for reading, it's been fun. Thanks for all the support, I am only an insecure cubone, after all. And thank you, all of you who edited or helped me at any point. Now I must go and reacquaint myself with legitimate literature.

  


* * *

* * *

**Chapter 10: Cursed**

She looked for him in the morning, but he did not appear. Jaken delivered her food and sulkily saw to her health, but there was no sign of his master. She stayed awake that night waiting for him, but eventually her ill body betrayed her to sleep. The darkness pressed on her worse than it ever had before, and for the first time she feared she would never be free of it. 

Sesshoumaru must be displeased with her, she could only reason. He had not wanted to speak or even look at her last night, after all. She had tried so hard to control and channel her power for him, but obviously she had failed. Perhaps her failing body had interfered with her efforts, but she was, in the end, only human. She had done all she could, and she had truly believed that would be enough. Just once, she had faith that she could control her power to a good end. Her confidence came crashing down, and with it her hope. She would never be free; she could not accomplish what Sesshoumaru wanted of her. She had given everything this time, if she tried again, she thought she would waste away. 

She feared he would follow through with his intent to try again. If only he would come to her, perhaps he could at least ease her anxiety. Her illness further dampened her spirits, though her uninterrupted night of healing seemed to improve her condition. 

* * *

When appeared the next morning, she found herself frightened and uncertain in his presence again. Her fate rested in his hands alone. 

She noticed with dismay that his arm had indeed failed to regenerate, but Sesshoumaru seemed cool and outwardly collected again. She waited for her adjudication silently, wringing her sleeves nervously. Her eyes darted from the floor to his face and back again, trying to read him. His face gave away nothing, golden eyes deep and impenetrable. He stoically stared at her, holding her in reverent silence. 

"Kagome..." he said softly, with the tone of one delivering bad news. 

"I'm sorry," she interrupted before he could finish speaking. He frowned at her. She blushed at her feet. "I don't know what happened, but I'm really sorry." He was silent for a long moment, and when she looked up he was standing beside her, looking down at her softly. He gently grasped her arm and led her from the room. 

She blinked as the cold air kissed her skin and the sunlight hazily reflected all about her. The first snow of the season floated lazily from the pale sky. The snowflakes began to cling like white spiders in her midnight hair. 

She watched her breath condense into rolling white clouds. "Sesshoumaru?" 

He looked at her as if sizing her up. He beckoned to her, wordlessly bending down slightly to approach her height. 

She recognized the gesture and slid her hands underneath his platinum hair and clasped them behind his neck. He scooped her up and she tightened herself against him to keep herself warm. She was trying to work up the nerve to ask where they were going. But she wasn't even sure she wanted to know. 

Sesshoumaru took to the air, holding her sheltered from the cold. The snow fell steadily now, changing the scenery into a blur of white. The diffused light mad judging the time difficult, but she surmised they had been traveling for some time. It was late afternoon when he lightly settled to the snow-covered ground. 

Kagome looked around, not recognizing the landscape. They were in the middle of a wood, as far as she could tell, miles from anywhere. The snow floated down through the cathedral of trees in tumultuous silence. "Where are we?" she breathed. 

Sesshoumaru lowered her back to her feet and helped her steady herself. 

She hugged her arms tightly around her body, bouncing lightly on her toes, missing his warmth. "Please..." she pleaded with wide eyes. "Sesshoumaru, please say something." 

He stood immovably in front of the apprehensive girl, nothing revealed in his stony posture and neutral expression. He was deliberately keeping her in the dark, but she wasn't sure why. 

"You're not going to say anything, are you?" 

There was a small shift on his ivory face. It might have been a smile and it might have been frown. In either case it was gone as quickly as it came. 

He reached out and lifted her chin, tilting her head up towards him. Her pulse was faintly visible to him on the long pale line of her throat. She obediently stayed as he positioned her as he took his hand away. 

He stepped closer, and her breathing stilled as his clawed fingers slipped under her bangs. With a slow deliberateness, he leaned down to her. She felt a hint of warm breath against her cool skin. He brushed aside her bangs and his lips landed softly on her forehead. The air rushed from her lungs and her eyes fell closed. She couldn't move, all she could feel was traces of his smooth lips pressed against her. 

Splinters of ice formed on the surface; time crystalized and froze. She was a statue, lost and confused and unable to open her eyes. It felt like a dream, and the longer she stood the more uncertain she became that it was really his touch and not a trick of the wind and snow. 

A faint sound penetrated the crystalline air and she began to breathe again. Slowly her eyes fluttered open, meeting nothing but the empty forest. 

She could see where he had stood, but there were no footprints in any other direction, as if he had simply evaporated. She was rooted to the spot as the snow fell softly around her. She brushed her face, and was surprised to find tears cooling on her fingertips. 

* * *

The early darkness of winter had already settled when he reached the hills again. He went back to her prison, and was foolishly surprised when he didn't see her when he opened the door. It was empty but for the writing on the walls and the dried flowers she had hung. Her scent still lingered, filling each crevice. The empty air was stifling. Part of him wanted to destroy the place, let the ceiling fall in until there was no trace of her left. He had no desire to bring another to this place. It was _her_ room, and forever would be. She had shed so much of herself here. 

He shut the door behind him, his mood dark. 

Bokusenou was waiting for him. 

He stood for a long moment in front of the ancient youkai, his vow from a week before pounding in his mind. "Aren't you going to proclaim your victory?" he sneered. 

Bokusenou sighed, the cold of winter making him lethargic and melancholy. "I was unaware of any victory." 

"I've failed," Sesshoumaru spat, disgusted. "It was doomed from the beginning, as you claimed." 

"Suffering of others brings me no happiness, Sesshoumaru. Nor does it you. I'm not your enemy. Neither is she." 

"She is nothing to me anymore," Sesshoumaru said, a little softer. "She is gone."

Bokusenou's voice took on a hard edge. "Then you truly killed her in your foolish pursuit?" 

The snow drifted down soothingly around the raging demon. "Her life lasted through the end of the month." 

"Then what happened to her?" 

Sesshoumaru's eyes drifted closed in bitter reflection. 

* * *

Kagome stood alone. Sesshoumaru had disappeared without a trace, and she was beginning to realize she was cold and lost in the middle of nowhere. Something told her he wasn't going to come back for her. She shivered. 

Her head snapped around when the sound of crashing branches shattered the silence. Something was moving through the forest in a tremendous hurry. She was woefully unprepared to defend herself, and was prepared to run when a frenzied yell echoed through the trees. 

He was calling her name. 

"Inuyasha..." she whispered. 

* * *

"You let her go..." Bokusenou said softly.

Sesshoumaru nodded slightly. "I left her in the half-breed's path. She is gone."

"Then you will no longer seek this remedy?" 

Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes at some unseen nemesis. "I did not know..." 

* * *

Inuyasha saw her, dressed in white as if she had bloomed from the snow. He would have thought her an illusion but for her scent and Sesshoumaru's drifting on the wind. When she tossed back her dark hair and her surprised brown eyes alighted on him a great weight was lifted.

A flash of red slammed into her, one warm arm enclosing her tightly as the other ripped an enormous blade from its sheath. He forced the breath from her, and unknowingly constricted her injured ribs. 

"Where is he?" Inuyasha growled, pulling her tighter. 

"Gone," she gasped, pushing to get him to loosen his hold. "Inuyasha... you're hurting me." 

His hand immediately fell away and he pulled back as if burned. 

"Kagome!" he exclaimed, half panicked as she fell to her hands and knees hugging her chest as she tried to recover her breath. 

"Sesshoumaru's gone," she panted. "Don't worry, I'm ok." 

He sheathed his blade, there was no sign Sesshoumaru had lingered. He rested his hands on her shoulders uncertainly, full of guilt for accidently hurting her. "I'm sorry, Kagome." 

She smiled at him reassuringly. "It's alright." 

"It's not all right!" He half-yelled. "You're hurt! What the hell did he do to you? I smell blood, and you're sick!" 

She wasn't sure how to answer, instead lifting her hand to his worried face. Her vision blurred with the movement, but he saw her sway and she was swooped up into his arms. 

It was strange being held by two arms again, she thought distantly. She returned her hand to his face, looking at him intently. "Are you ok?" 

"Stupid girl," his voice broke slightly. "What kind of question is that?" His voice held a storm of pent up worry. He sniffed at her, tact momentarily set aside. "You're really sick, and there's old blood on you. What did he do?" 

"He..." She couldn't make the words come. "I've... lost some blood... and I was attacked and my ribs hurt... and then I got sick." She was having trouble making the words fit what she wanted to say. 

Inuyasha's face darkened. "I'll kill that bastard. How could he do this?" He glared off into the wood, imagining his brother's smug face. 

Kagome coughed in his arms and his attention immediately snapped back to her. 

She snagged a lock of his hair to keep his attention. "Don't. Please... I just want to go home now." 

His face softened and his eyes were filled with guilt. "Sure," he muttered. She probably wasn't up to riding on his back, he reasoned. He positioned her in his arms as best as he could. "I'm not hurting you, am I?" he asked. 

"No," she lied, not wanting to worry him. There was no comfortable way to move like this, but she wasn't going to tell him that. 

* * *

"You did not know...?" Bokusenou prompted.

Sesshoumaru emerged from the darkness of his thoughts, but ignored the question. "She was the wrong choice after all..." 

"Sesshoumaru-sama," Bokusenou prodded gently, "what happened?"

He let out a long breath. "I was weak. I could not do it when the time came. She offered herself, and I was the one who failed. I could not do it-- no, I could... but I did not."

"You believed that she would die, didn't you?" 

"I was certain of it," he said evenly. "But it shouldn't have mattered." 

"It is only natural, you did not want to cause her pain. Of course it mattered." Bokusenou explained patiently. 

"I could have resurrected her..." Sesshoumaru said slowly. 

"Perhaps you could have." He allowed Sesshoumaru to reason for himself, only he could answer the questions eating at him. 

"...but I promised her." He stood stiff, captive to his thoughts. His voice was cold and bitter. "Tenseiga is, as I've always thought, useless. It is not even a weapon, all it may do is mock an end to suffering. It resists my hand. It's will is not one of mercy, but of spite. It would rule me, undo all that I have built." 

"I do not fully understand you father's intent," Bokusenou said, "but do not judge him or Tenseiga in so dark a light. Perhaps it is changing you, but do not mistake enlightenment for corruption. It is the nature of pure things-- they cannot lie, and only the disheartened and guilty would lay accusations on them."

The demon lord did not reach for his sword as he might have, yet still the words seemed foreign and confusing. There was only one thing that was clear in his mind. 

"I am cursed," he said simply. 

Bokusenou said nothing. 

"You never told me the curse this remedy carries."

"I told you everything I knew," he answered. 

"Then why has this happened?" Sesshoumaru snapped, then calmed again. "I see her eyes whenever I close mine. I hear her voice when she is no longer here. I see her on the edges of my vision, but she fades if I turn to her. If she is still alive somewhere, how can I be haunted by her ghost?"

The snow fell in static indifference, drifting like the silence. 

"Perhaps, Sesshoumaru, the ghost of your failure will fade in time. But first you must decide what your failure was." 

The tall demon didn't bother to argue, letting the snow settle around him as if he were part of the landscape. 

"Though I believe now that I was wrong as well," Bokusenou said softly. "Perhaps the seed of some good has been planted underneath all of this ice. I feared only darkness and pain could come of this... but there is still time... and hope."

* * *

Her arms were wrapped around Inuyasha's neck as she fought off sleep. He raced through the winter landscape with inhuman grace, taking her home. She was relieved, thankful for her freedom. He had let her go, for reasons she could not fathom and he would not tell her. She still wished that she had been able to make him whole, and it tugged at her heart, this feeling that she had left him in the cold. No matter that he had been the one to choose to depart. She hoped he was alright. 

In her mind's eye, she hoped he was with Rin. She hoped the little girl was watching him, filling his ears with buoyant chatter, whether or not he noticed and cared. There was a reason she was there, even if he did not admit it to himself. Yes, Rin could be trusted. 

"Inuyasha..." she whispered. "While I'm gone, don't go looking for Sesshoumaru. I don't want you to fight. Please don't make me worry about you." She wasn't afraid to beg, knowing that he was willing to give her almost anything at the moment. 

She heard him growl in his chest. Obviously retaliation had been on his mind. "Fine, but if that bastard shows up again I'll show him no mercy."

She snuggled into him tighter, accepting his promise for the time being. The clouds parted slightly, the light of the sliver of moon strangely comforting. She drifted into sleep, letting the word fall curiously off her tongue. "...mercy."

* * *

"Goodnight... Inu-no-Taisho," Bokusenou said seriously as the first drops of silver moonlight fell through the trees. He left the demon lord in the safe company of the night sky. 

Sesshoumaru looked up at the sliver of luminance, the sight triggering a tumult of strange visions and memories. A dark-haired young girl with pale light shining around her, the white crescent reflected in her midnight eyes. He blinked and the vision faded. 

He walked until he came to a fireside, a small girl curled up alongside in trustful sleep. A temporary shelter from the darkness... _A temporary shelter from the moonlight..._

Did this ethereal silver light still hold Kagome captive? Forever trapped in her unwavering hope... waiting for a myth of salvation. Hope was a cage made of moonlight, a tauntingly beautiful beacon in the darkness, holding the faithful captive in eternal despair. How long would she wait for redemption?

If only she had not drawn him into this prison of hope with her, taunted by faint light and visions. Perhaps he would not be cursed to cling to the recondite wisps of silver light, wishing for sunrise. 

  


A sunrise which would leave him yearning for moonlight. 

  
  
  


* * *

* * *

Ok, as promised, here's Raichu's alternate ending, for those of you who don't like mine. 

  


**OK, I really shouldn't have to say this, but apparently I do. This is a joke... a parody if you will. **

  


The white snow of the clearing fell softly on the pale skin of the emaciated girl and the icy skin of her captor, obscuring them in the snow.

The shocking cold brought back memories that Kagome had forgotten. Due to her weakened state in Sesshoumaru's cave, she had forgotten that Inuyasha betrayed her, that she was the heir of midoriko, that she had sold herself into slavery last week's episode, and a bunch of other dark stuff. Not to mention that she had just spent the last year training with some OC character to become a warlord…or something.

BREAK+++++++++++++++++Changing perspectives++++++++++++++

Are you still with me, cause we're changing pov. good.++++++++++++++++

Sesshoumaru, thanks to the visits of three spirits the night before, was now a changed youkai. He decided to give in to his emotions, and in some cases...desire ^__- as the spirits from the department of Morals and Common Sense Dealing with Cold Snowy Forests were not due for a fortnight.

(Authoress giggles and inserts herself into the story)

+++++Changing back, hold on!!++++++ I'd like to take this moment to introduce you to a new OC whom I swear is not an "I wish I were cool" idealized manifestation of myself, Sesshoumaru and Kagome's child from the future…soon to make an appearance here ^_-. On with the page break!!!!+++++++++++

Kagome, through all of her illness, injury, power drains, and massive blood loss, summed the strength for the forthcoming long lemon. She suddenly found herself wearing a black leather combat bodysuit the looked a lot like sharkskin. And her wrists and cheeks were marked with stripes similar to Sesshoumaru's, but they were bright pink and glowed green when she was turned on. Sesshoumara was now wearing a black beater and hip hugging jeans that revealed doggy bone boxers underneath. (Isn't that just uber cute?!?!?) A pair of soft bunny ears had also sprouted just above where his pointed ones had been.

BREAK+++++ In case you haven't noticed yet, this is a break. +++++++++See, cause I'm gonna change scenes or speakers, or have someone think in direct quotes+++++ Just to remind you, this has been a page break+++++++++

KAGOME'S POV

What the hell she thought, because everything will be all right in he end. I'll adopt Shippou for some reason, and call him a pup, though that makes no sense no matter how you spin it between the Japanese, English, and the supposed mannerisms of youkai. Sure, Sesshoumaru will it first think of me just as an sex object, and delightful romps will ensue, but as after a couple of times he will come to realize that he truly cares for me for some reason. Though I should probably hook Inuyasha up with Kikyou or something, so we can pretend this whole scenario is plausible. (Authoress remebers that a few paragrapsh back she controdicted the previous statement. Sweatdrops. Decides no one will notice.) However, if I'm going to have enough strength to get through this week of lemons, I should probably stop sitting in the snow.

++++++++++++++++++++

"Chikushou!" exclaimed Kagome. "Samukutetamaranaiyo! Hora! Shippo ha moeteirukedo keshitometemokeshimonakutemoiida. 

Sesshoumaru, who didn't understand Japanese, but had taken this time to develop telepathic abilities and brush his hair, growled in agreement, and promptly attempted to put out his tail, which had caught a passing flame.

*Authoress hits head on table and hopes she's laid it on thick enough*

*Sesshoumaru runs about in circles shouting about the state of his tail*

*Curtain closes on bad fanfiction forever*

  
  


~*%Translations%*~

Samukutetamaranai: It's unbearably cold

Shippo ha moeteirukedo keshitometemokeshimonakutemoiida- Your tail is on fire but it doesn't matter if you extinguish it or not.

~*%%*~

* * *

  


_This chapter last modified: Tuesday, December 2, 2003_

Story Completed: Tuesday, December 2, 2003


End file.
